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We sit down with Michelle Valiukenas to talk about losing her daughter after a premature birth and how that grief reshapes identity, relationships, and the way the world responds to parents in pain. She shares how noticing the hidden financial burden of high-risk pregnancy and NICU life led her to build the Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation and speak openly so other families do not have to suffer in silence.
We talk about the parts people whisper about but rarely name out loud: the identity shock of being a mom without a baby at home, the strange social time limit placed on grief, and the way friends disappear because they don’t know what to say. Michelle shares what helped, what hurt, and why speaking her daughter Colette’s name became both healing and disruptive in the best way because it permitted other parents to tell the truth about their own losses.
A major thread is the financial burden that stacks on top of heartbreak. Michelle noticed how money shapes everything in a crisis: whether a parent can stay bedside in the neonatal intensive care unit, recover postpartum, or keep life afloat when medical complications derail work. That insight led her to found the Collette Louise Tisdal Foundation, a national nonprofit providing financial assistance to families facing high-risk or complicated pregnancies, NICU stays, or loss. Over 4,000 families have been helped, and more than $2 million has been distributed. Visit to learn more: https://colettelouise.com/.
If you’ve experienced pregnancy loss or infant loss, you’ll hear language that makes room for your grief without rushing it. If you love someone who has, you’ll leave with a simple challenge: show up, keep showing up, and don’t wait for perfect words.
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