Are Affairs Actually Hot? Cheating, Kinks & Relationship Rules (ft. Carly Pifer) - In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex | Lyssna här

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Carly from Read Aurore to talk about why affairs, cheating, secrecy, and other taboo desires can be so damn hot.

What makes an affair feel so passionate? Why does forbidden sex create such intense desire? And can cheating ever be understandable—or even acceptable—depending on the circumstances? Alexa and Carly get into the complicated psychology of infidelity, including why people cheat, why an affair isn't necessarily about the person being cheated on, the power of secrecy and feeling chosen, and why affairs between two people who are both in relationships can feel more equal than an affair between a partnered person and someone single.

Topic discussed:

Affairs and infidelity: why affairs happen and why they're sexually appealing
Cheating and relationship agreements
Whether you should tell someone their partner is cheating
The “what you don't know can't hurt you” debate
The ethics of being the other person in an affair
Married people cheating with single people
Why people having affairs often don't leave their primary relationships
The idea of financial compensation in an affair
Esther Perel and The State of Affairs
Cheating in abusive or neglectful relationships
Cheating when a partner is sick or disabled
Sexual needs within long-term relationships
Sexual incompatibility
Sex workers and whether hiring one constitutes cheating
Defining what “cheating” means in a relationship
Porn as a potential form of cheating
Open relationships and the possibility of cheating within them
Public sex/public play
The thrill and risk of getting caught
Sex in semi-public places
Privacy, consent, and the ethics of public sexual behavior
Being walked in on during sex
Consensual/role-play affairs
The fantasy of secrecy without actual betrayal
Hotel rooms and sneaking around
Fear of getting caught
Feeling chosen/special through an affair
Novelty and new relationship energy