Join Elliot and Lottie on an honest walk | Cheating or sexless? When one partner takes sex off the table, what happens to the other? In this Walk & Talk, therapists Lottie and Elliot unpack one of the most painful dilemmas couples face — forced celibacy in a committed relationship, loosing limerence and why it so often leads to affairs.
We break down: 🔹 Why contempt and lack of communication destroy intimacy 🔹 The "Cup of Tea Syndrome" — how affairs really begin 🔹 Limerence vs love: the illusion that traps so many couples 🔹 Gottman's Four Horsemen and how they show up in your relationship 🔹 Why safety — not communication — is the real key to connection 🔹 The "Postage Stamp" effect: how years of unspoken resentment explode 🔹 Why men and women often define intimacy completely differently
💬 Have you experienced this in your relationship? Drop your thoughts in the comments — we read every one.
📌 TIMESTAMPS 0:00 – The clip that sparked the conversation 0:35 – Contempt and the breakdown of communication 2:36 – Gottman's Four Horsemen in action 5:10 – The "Cup of Tea Syndrome" — how affairs start 7:23 – What monogamy really asks of you 8:10 – When sex disappears after children 10:12 – Why sex is "oxygen" for connection 12:12 – Limerence: the love illusion 14:08 – "I'd leave, but everything else is perfect" 16:08 – How relationship roles get set in stone 19:40 – Phone reminders for intimacy? 21:10 – Safety is the key, not communication 25:27 – The "Postage Stamp" effect 28:20 – The disconnect: external vs internal qualities
🔔 Subscribe for our Walk & Talk episodes with real therapist perspectives on love, cheating, intimacy, and everything in between.
Recommended Videos: TED Talk - A better way to talk about love | Mandy Len Catron : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMWYQRKuc5M Esther Perel: / @estherperel
Follow us on: 🎙️ The Paradox of Change Podcast: https://theparadoxofchange.buzzsprout... 📲 Instagram: / theparadoxofchange 📺 Linktree: https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange 📢 If you've experienced infidelity or are working through trust issues, let us know your thoughts in the comments! ⬇️ https://linktr.ee/theparadoxofchange
💔 why did my boyfriend cheat? 💔 why did my girlfriend cheat? 💔 why did my partner cheat?
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