#80: You Are NOT Obligated to Have Sex: Healing Sexual Trauma with Vanessa Cushing

🧠Start healing today with our #sponsor BetterHelp and get 10% off your first month by going to:https://www.betterhelp.com/ichoosehealthAt 19, Vanessa Cushing survived a sexual assault in college. When the institution responsible for protecting her dismissed her experience, she transformed her anger and pain into a lifelong mission: helping survivors reclaim their voices, bodies, relationships, and sense of safety.

Vanessa also discusses consent, sexual entitlement, desire discrepancies in relationships, nervous-system regulation, pornography, shame, couples therapy, and the damaging belief that marriage entitles someone to sex. She explains why pressuring a partner can destroy sexual desire and why every person remains responsible for their own pleasure.Content warning: This episode includes detailed discussions of sexual assault, suicidal ideation, institutional betrayal, coercion, abuse, and trauma recovery. Please listen with care and seek qualified support when needed.Connect with Vanessa CushingCushing Counseling:https://www.cushingcounseling.comSex Therapy Pro:https://www.sextherapypro.aiInstagram:https://www.instagram.com/cushingcounseling?igsh=YmZ0M3hnaXVzZGp5Chapters00:00 Vanessa’s story: Turning pain into purpose01:53 I Choose Health introduction02:13 Welcome and Vanessa’s background02:54 Surviving sexual assault in college05:21 Fighting back after institutional betrayal06:15 How anger became a source of strength07:06 Becoming a sexual-trauma therapist07:48 Why institutions protect powerful people09:24 Teaching children consent and bodily autonomy11:04 How Brazilian jiu-jitsu can support self-defense11:48 Why therapists receive so little sexual-health training12:43 What AASECT certification requires14:13 Power, entitlement, misogyny, and sexual violence15:55 Pornography and beliefs about women17:09 The most common concerns in sex therapy18:28 When one partner feels entitled to sex20:15 How to support someone sharing trauma21:28 A powerful client transformation22:38 Where sexual trauma appears outside the bedroom23:22 Individual therapy versus couples therapy24:23 Why sex carries so much shame25:17 The biggest myth about sex therapy26:02 How culture shapes conversations about sex28:07 Why Vanessa created Sex Therapy Pro29:24 Using AI responsibly in sexual-health support30:48 Who Sex Therapy Pro is designed to help31:30 The future of sex therapy32:12 What Vanessa would tell her 19-year-old self33:04 Harmful intimacy advice online34:45 How the work changed Vanessa’s relationships36:02 When someone believes therapy cannot help36:57 What colleges should do after an assault report38:01 False accusations and trauma40:32 Building Cushing Counseling42:00 Raising sexually assertive children43:25 Desire discrepancy, resentment, and abuse45:33 The nervous system and trauma recovery46:24 TMS, ketamine-assisted therapy, and trauma47:50 When only one partner wants therapy48:17 Rapid-fire questions about intimacy49:39 Why sex can improve with age49:52 How to connect with Vanessa#SexualTrauma #TraumaRecovery #SexTherapy #SexualAssaultAwareness #Consent #HealthyRelationships #Intimacy #MentalHealth #CouplesTherapy #SurvivorHealing #SexualHealth #InstitutionalBetrayal #NervousSystemHealing #VanessaCushing #IChooseHealth🔔 Subscribe & Connect with I Choose Health:🎥 YouTube Podcast Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@IChooseHealthPodcast 💪 Fitness Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@mindcorefitness1 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ichoosehealthpodcast/🎵 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ichoosehealthpodcast🎧 Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0rxOkqBlAQBZVfznoUpNvP🛍️ Shop Merch: https://ichoosehealthpodcast.myshopify.com/collections/all