This episode explores one of the most persistent beliefs about drinking: the idea that alcohol is essential for relaxation. If you've ever found yourself reaching for a drink after work or on a quiet afternoon almost automatically, you're not alone. Your host Anna Donaghey shares how this learned habit is driven by deep-seated beliefs, many of which never truly belonged to us in the first place.
With clarity and compassion, Anna examines the gap between what alcohol actually does in our bodies and the soothing myth we've been sold. She explores why we come to rely on alcohol to "switch off," how these patterns are modeled by family and culture, and the powerful role of questioning our inherited beliefs. Along the way, she offers science-backed insights into alcohol's real impact on stress and sleep, plus practical, gentle alternatives for anyone ready to try something new.
Highlights:
00:02 Automatic drinking after work: is it really relaxing?
02:02 How beliefs drive thoughts and thoughts drive drinking habits
03:47 The deeper belief: “I can’t relax without alcohol”
05:16 Why “switching off” often means marking a change of state
06:08 The truth: first drink relaxes you, then belief takes over
07:12 Family, culture, and media model alcohol as the only way to unwind
08:09 “Says who?”, questioning where our beliefs come from
09:12 Is alcohol actually removing stress or just postponing it?
10:21 The science: alcohol as a stressor, not a stress-reliever
13:28 The turnaround: alcohol creates more stress than it relieves
15:17 Easy experiment: alternatives that signal “the day is done”
16:42 Free, simple rituals to replace the evening drink
17:28 Looking upstream at the real pressures behind drinking
18:18 You were never incapable of relaxing, you just weren't shown other ways.
Want some easy reset ideas? Have a listen to Episode 68: Toolkit '101': 5-Minute Resets: Go-To Alternatives to Alcohol: https://pod.fo/e/2cf33d
Anna’s book "What Are You Thirsty For? Rethinking Alcohol and The Life You Want", is now out in the world for you to buy!
Order your copy, access her free tools and explore her coaching programmes at: https://thebigdrinkrethink.com/
The Thirsty For More Mindset Lab is Anna’s ‘inner circle’ - a calm, thoughtful space where conversations continue, patterns are explored, and things begin to make sense. Find out more at: https://thirstyformore.substack.com/
If you appreciate the podcast and would like to show a bit of love, you can donate the cost of a coffee here. It helps support the time and care that goes into making the show:https://buymeacoffee.com/bigdrinkrethink
About the host Anna:
Anna is a certified Alcohol Mindset Coach, trained by Annie Grace of This Naked Mind. Drawing on her own journey out of alcohol addiction, she now helps others explore and control their drinking. With a career spanning 25 years as a Strategist in the Advertising industry, she combines her own lived experiences, with great insight into what makes us tick and what influences us to behave the way we do.
Connect with Anna:
Website: thebigdrinkrethink.com
LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/annadonaghey
Instagram:instagram.com/bigdrinkrethink
Produced bywinteraudio.co.uk
Mentioned in this episode:
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