People pleasing is not kindness. It is fear dressed up as generosity. In this episode of the Via Stoica Podcast, we look honestly at what it means to stop living for other people's approval and start showing up as yourself.
Welcome to the Via Stoica Podcast, the podcast on Stoicism. This episode builds directly on the previous conversation about the scripts we inherit. People pleasing is what happens when we keep performing that script out of fear rather than choice.
Most of us learned early that being agreeable was rewarded and that causing discomfort came at a price. That lesson becomes a habit, the habit becomes a pattern, and the pattern quietly erodes the person underneath it. You say yes when you mean no. You manage the emotions of others at the expense of your own. You lose track of where their needs end and yours begin. Epictetus was clear: what others think of you is entirely outside your control. Handing your life over to opinions you cannot control is not kindness. It is fear with a generous face.
This episode of the Via Stoica Podcast asks the question most people pleasers never stop to consider: am I doing this because it is right, or because I am afraid of what happens if I do not? The in-between is yours.
Read the full arctile: https://viastoica.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/
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