Wake-up reality checks, cracked MOTD logos & the ultimate Puskas Award goal

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Wedding guests with goal-machine names, the rude awakenings/wake-up calls/reality checks of the Premier League opening weekend, how much it would actually cost to "drive Harry Maguire to Saudi Arabia yourself", Lee Dixon’s emerging spot-kick commentary trademark, tenuous Match of the Day identity crises, Dom Ballard's pure Puskas wondergoal, the many ripples of a Fabrizio Romano typo, Jean-Philippe Mateta aiming for legislative immortality, West Brom's "curly slippers", James Trafford’s unorthodox cadence and Richard Keys's one word for his beloved Coventry City.

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