Co-commentator voice ID & performatively not interfering with play: The listeners' loves & hates

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.

Among the selections are the three minutes it takes to identify the co-commentator by voice alone, the body language of an offside striker performatively not interfering with play, why a player can be "on a hat-trick" but not "on a red card" and the sheer dissatisfaction of a new signing not being immediately unleashed for their debut.

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