Nobody Taught Men This: The Masculinity Advice That's Failing Men & Why it Matters More Than Ever

Men are tired, and it’s not just work and bills, it’s the mental pressure of trying to decode what “being a man” is supposed to mean now. One voice says masculinity is toxic. Another says you have to be an always-on, hyper-disciplined “uber man.” Jeremy Jeremiah and Mario Andrew of Cloud of Witnesses sit down with special guests Deacon Anthony (https://st-anthony.org/) and Jacob Sadan (LMFT) (https://jacobsadan.com/) and name the real problem: the narratives we inherit about manhood, and the damage they cause when we never slow down to test them against truth.
Men are getting whiplash from culture: “too manly” vs “never soft.” We talk responsibility, emotions, and why Christ is the model of healthy masculinity.

We talk about why men feel pulled between competing cultural definitions of masculinity and how that confusion spills into family life, relationships, and the church. We connect Christian manhood with responsibility, emotional honesty, and the courage to live with integrity instead of performing a persona.

• competing messages about masculinity and the search for real authority
• responsibility accountability and integrity as core markers of healthy manhood
• fatherhood as presence guidance affection and example not only providing
• masculinity as what we do and what we refuse to do
• thoughts feelings and behaviors as a cycle shaping identity
• church seasons as a healthy place for repentance joy and emotion
• therapy work on balance when men suppress or overflow emotionally
• examining the narratives we inherited about manhood and love
• vulnerability as the foundation of real relationships and the fear of rejection in dating

Together with Deacon Anthony and Jacob from a clinical therapy perspective, we get concrete about healthy masculinity and Christian manhood: responsibility, accountability, and integrity that show up at home, at church, and in everyday relationships. We talk about fatherhood that goes beyond providing and protecting, because kids learn what love is by what they watch, not what they’re told. We also challenge the idea that emotions make men weak, pointing to the Church’s wisdom around repentance, tears, joy, and self-control, and to Christ himself as the fullest picture of strength that includes compassion and honesty.

“The more you deny your emotions, the more emotional you are.” A deacon and a therapist unpack why men shut down, why it explodes later, and how the Church can help you heal.

We also go into what therapy rooms are seeing right now: men swinging between emotional shutdown and emotional overflow, the body storing anger, and the fear of vulnerability that makes dating and intimacy feel risky. If you’ve ever felt like you’re performing a role instead of living with integrity, this conversation offers a path back to center, with practical insight and spiritual grounding.

Providing and protecting isn’t the whole job. What do kids actually learn from a father’s presence, integrity, and apology? We get practical about manhood, family, and relationships.

Questions about Orthodoxy? Please check out our friends at Ghost of Byzantium Discord server: https://discord.gg/JDJDQw6tdh

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