Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me? | Infinite Devotion Episode 155

Why Won't My Wife Have Sex With Me?  

Around 2014 I typed that exact question into Google. It started everything Dawn and I do now.

This is part one of a two-part series, and it's for the men. Dawn and I get into why the pull you felt at the beginning never actually died, how desire slowly turns into obligation, and why you can never talk a woman into wanting you. Then we get practical about the half of this a man can actually control.

Next week, part two: her side of it.

In this episode we get into:

• What sex and desire were like at the beginning for us, and what that proves
• The "infatuation stage" assumption, and why I refused to believe it
• How wanting each other turns into trying to keep each other
• Why there's no room for desire inside obligation
• The night I lay in bed arguing with Dawn about why she should want me
• Deciding to stop asking her to want me, and to become a man she actually wants
• Choosing to stay, even if it never worked, and what that taught me about devotion
• Dawn's honest take on how most men present themselves (she doesn't pull punches)
• The low-hanging fruit: clothes, grooming, shoes, fitness, and getting your health checked
• Whether you actually approve of women being sexual beings, and the Madonna-whore split
• How enmeshment makes desire structurally impossible

Chapters 00:00 The question that started everything 03:11 What sex was like at the beginning 06:24 Where does the pull go? 08:40 The "infatuation stage" 11:03 Can you want what you already have? 12:29 From wanting each other to keeping each other 13:31 What changed in me 16:22 Desire is something she feels in response to you 19:16 Stress, money, and the man she stopped seeing 22:03 The half you can control 23:31 The night I tried to talk her into wanting me 26:54 Done asking, becoming a man she wants 32:07 Choosing to stay 34:04 Physical attraction matters 35:03 Dawn on how men present themselves 39:14 The easy stuff: clothes, grooming, shoes 41:11 How would you show up if you were dating again? 42:05 Get your health checked 43:11 Do you approve of women's sexuality? 45:09 The Madonna-whore split 49:36 She's a sexual being, and not only toward you 52:15 Enmeshment and your independent life 53:21 You can still have this

Mentioned in this episode Function Health, where Dawn and I get our bloodwork done: click here for $25 off Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity Giving To Receive: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog/giving-to-receive The Infinite Devotion book, out November 10: https://infinitedevotion.com/book

Listen to the full episode Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/infinite-devotion/id1703653891 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3NOiUF8kMERd52klxIrr1w YouTube: https://youtu.be/c5IACzRhxS8

More from Infinite Devotion Blog: https://infinitedevotion.com/blog Free resources: https://infinitedevotion.com/free-resources Instagram: https://instagram.com/_infinitedevotion

Want to go deeper? All our courses and coaching: https://infinitedevotion.com/store