Welcome back to The Encourage Moment Podcast. Today's conversation is one I cannot wait for you to hear. I'm joined by Sam Kelly, founder of Notice and Do and author of the upcoming book, Notice and Do.
If you are tired of carrying the mental load at home, feeling unseen in the invisible work of motherhood, or wondering how to get your kids to help without constant reminders, bribes, battles, or resentment—this episode is for you.
Sam shares a practical and deeply compassionate approach to helping children become proactive contributors at home. Instead of simply assigning chores, Notice and Do teaches kids how to recognize what needs to be done and take action. The goal is not perfection—or turning children into little adults. It is building capability, empathy, responsibility, self-discipline, and a stronger sense of teamwork within the family.
We also talk about the difference between invisible labor, the mental load, and emotional labor; why kids should learn to share the brain work of a home without carrying the emotional burden of parenting; and how this shift can help moms feel more seen, supported, and less alone.
Sam offers especially helpful insight for families raising children with ADHD or other neurodivergent needs. You'll hear a simple first step you can try today: a "noticing walk" through your home that helps kids learn what to look for, where things belong, and how to contribute without being micromanaged.
This episode is full of practical tools, scripts, encouragement, and hope for parents who want to end the cycle of burnout and raise children who understand that caring for a home is shared family work.
In this episode, we discuss:
• What invisible labor is—and the difference between mental load and emotional labor
• Why so many moms feel exhausted, unseen, and quietly resentful
• How to explain the mental load to children in age-appropriate ways
• Why chores need a "glow up" and how family work benefits kids
• How to help kids become proactive instead of waiting to be told what to do
• The Notice and Do method for teaching children responsibility at home
• Why it is never too late to start, even with older kids and teens
• Practical support for children with ADHD, including autonomy, structure, and motivation
• How to use "The Big Three" to build everyday family responsibilities
• Why external motivation and self-discipline are not bad parenting
• How sharing household labor can create more connection, capacity, and creative freedom
• Moving from martyrdom to mentorship—and ending generational patterns of invisible labor
Sam's work is a powerful reminder: you are not complaining when you name what you carry. You are explaining your reality, asking for needed support, and creating a healthier path for your family.
Connect with Sam Kelly and learn more about Notice and Do:
Sam's website
On Instagram: @samkelly_world
If this conversation encouraged you, please share it with another parent who may need to hear that they do not have to carry it all alone.
