Shame & Overcontrol: When Control Feels Like Safety with Dr. Samantha Turetsky (Part 1)

Is wanting control actually a problem, or is it the rigidity around it?In part one of this two-part conversation, licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha “Sami” Turetsky joins Kyira to introduce overcontrol and Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO DBT), a treatment designed for people on the opposite end of the spectrum from traditional DBT: those who hold their emotions in too tightly rather than letting them spill out.Kyira steps into the role of both interviewer and subject as they unpack how overcontrol can be both wired in from birth and hardened by life experience, why it so often hides behind traits our culture rewards, and how it quietly leads to loneliness and disconnection.Sami explains the two subtypes of overcontrol: overly agreeable people-pleasers and overly disagreeable “need to be right” folks. They also explore why we're never as good at masking our feelings as we think we are, and how shame's urge to hide keeps people stuck.Through real-life examples, including a family vacation itinerary, a ripped box of playing cards, and a toddler's nap schedule during COVID, they explore fixed versus fatalistic mind, why rumination feels like problem-solving but isn't, and the practice of self-inquiry.Sami closes with a quick, body-based skill called the “Big Three Plus One” that you can use anywhere to help shift your nervous system out of threat mode.More About Dr. SamiDr. Samantha Turetsky is a licensed clinical psychologist with more than a decade of experience, specializing in eating disorders, perfectionism, and overcontrol. She particularly loves working with high achievers who look like they have it all together but feel unfulfilled and disconnected.She is Level 2 trained in RO DBT and runs a fully virtual practice, licensed in Washington and all 43 PSYPACT states, where she also leads an RO DBT skills class.Connect with Dr. SamiWebsite: https://www.therapywithdrsami.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsamanthaturetskyReady to Take the Next Step?Download the FREE handout, “5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day,” and start making daily shifts to break the shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in a negative headspace.https://adversityrising.com/handouts-all?category=Addressing+ShameBook a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support that best fits your needs.https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-callStay ConnectedSubscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2AouludJr7EweOkMIN9s42Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/untethering-shame/id1691795543YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdqCNF8lI6hq8U2GNQsAJkQWebsite: https://adversityrising.com