Having a need is not the same as being needy. Those two got conflated so early that for a lot of us they feel identical. They're not.
This week's anonymous question: "Every time I try to ask for what I need I either over-explain and justify for twenty minutes, or I say nothing and then explode two weeks later. I was told so many times as a kid that I was too needy that I don't know how to have a need anymore. How do I ask without it being a whole thing?"
I break down where the "I'm too much" story comes from, why over-explaining and exploding are the same protection wearing different clothes, and what a clean, direct ask actually sounds like.
This is for you if:
You justify before you ask
You go quiet and blow up later
You were called dramatic or too much as a kid
Homework: pick one small need. Say it out loud. No preamble, no apology, no justification. Just "I need ____."
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