Twenty-five years ago, Tara Bane's husband Michael kissed her goodbye, walked out the door, and never came home. He was working on the 100th floor of the North Tower on September 11, 2001. In this episode, Tara opens up about that day, the years of grief that followed, and how she eventually rebuilt a life she's proud of, including surviving the sudden loss of her mother just six years later, at only 19 years old.
We talk about what it's really like to grieve a loss the whole world witnessed, why "moving on" timelines do more harm than good, and how art therapy (even when the art itself is ugly and unrecognizable) can become one of the most powerful tools for processing trauma.
In this episode, we cover: ✨ What it was like to lose Michael on 9/11 and the surreal days of not knowing if he survived ✨ Why shock, denial, and adrenaline are the body's way of protecting us in acute grief ✨ The societal pressure to "move on" and how it shows up in the well-meaning things people say ✨ Coping with two major losses ten years apart ✨ How yoga and movement gave her moments of presence when grief felt all-consuming ✨ Why her first attempt at art therapy after 9/11 produced painting she didn't even recognize ✨ The Garden of Reflection memorial she co-created ✨ Remarriage, motherhood, divorce, and what it means to keep your heart open after loss ✨ Why she waited 25 years to write her memoir, Evolution of a Heart ✨ What she wants every griever to know about grief having no expiration date
Wherever you are in your own grief journey—whether it's been weeks or decades—I hope Tara's story reminds you that healing isn't linear, and your heart can stay open even after the worst has happened.
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