Why does happiness feel scary after you've lost someone? If you've ever caught yourself waiting for the other shoe to drop right in the middle of a genuinely good moment, this episode is for you. I'm unpacking why joy can feel unsafe after loss—especially after compounding or back-to-back losses—and what to actually do about it.
I lost my mom and dad within six months of each other, both to cancer, and less than a year later I lost my 19-year-old dog, Princess. After that kind of loss, your nervous system doesn't just grieve the person or thing you lost, it changes how safe the whole world feels. That's what today's conversation is all about: naming the hypervigilance, understanding why your brain does this, and learning how to let good things in again without needing a guarantee they'll stay.
✨ What "bracing for joy" actually is, and why it's a form of hypervigilance, not negativity or ingratitude ✨ Why compounding or back-to-back losses make this fear so much louder ✨ The difference between "something bad is about to happen" and "I'm having a thought that something bad is about to happen" ✨ Why pattern-matching your past losses isn't a prediction of your future ✨ 5 mindset shifts to help you start trusting joy again
If this resonated, I'd love to hear about it! Send me your own "waiting for the other shoe to drop" moment on Instagram or in the reviews. And if you know someone who's been white-knuckling their way through good moments since their loss, this one's for them, too.
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