Jesse Sanchez was 11 the first time he smoked weed, 14 when he tried cocaine and opiates, and 17 when he looked up from a carpet covered in crack and thought "holy s***, what are we doing." He eventually landed on heroin as his drug of choice and spent three years hiding it from his wife, driving 4.5 hours round trip to his dealer while she thought he was at work, once using a co-worker's real funeral as cover to go pick up. When she finally found out, he ended up on his sister's couch in Washington sweating it out, then a year in AA still drinking, still taking chips for heroin. He's been six years off heroin, four years fully clean.
Six months into his final sobriety, his brother Julian had died from fentanyl poisoning. The depression that followed got dark enough that when the thought of taking his son with him crossed his mind, it scared him into finally getting real help.
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0:00 — Into 2:07 — The shirt: in memory of Julian 7:43 — Parents divorced when he was 2 8:14 — Age 11: first smoked weed with a friend, not his brother 10:06 — Age 14: no weed around, tried cocaine 13:17 — Age 17: became a crackhead 14:12 — Opiates vs everything else 17:15 — When pills got scarce, friends switched to heroin 18:06 — Met his wife from Ukraine 23:17 — Wife caught him, admitted pills, never mentioned heroin 32:37 — Used a co-worker's real funeral as cover to go pick up drugs 34:30 — Confessing addiction to wife 42:45 — Detoxing at sister's house 45:18 — 6 years off heroin, never touched it since 46:04 — Tried AA while still drinking 51:22 — Relapsed on cocaine at work, told his sponsor 55:24 — Mom calls to tell me my brother died 58:20 — 800-pound steel tube cut his fingertips off on the job 1:04:39 — Staying sober through brother's death 1:09:05 — Rock bottom in sobriety 1:17:33 — What turned the corner: therapy, EMDR 1:21:06 — What you tell your sponsor vs what you tell a therapist
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