If you've ever sat in your therapist's office and thought "I sort of just want you to take care of me" and then felt embarrassed for even thinking it, this episode is for you.
Listener Laurie wrote in after the "I Finally Stopped Shrinking" episode asking why being truly seen by a therapist can feel so activating, why grounding doesn't always hit the way her therapist intends it to, and why part of her just wants her therapist to show up more parentally even though she knows that's not the answer.
We took her question and ran with it.
Today I'm joined by Katie Fries, LCSW, RPT, founder of All of You Therapy in Philadelphia, to talk about what's actually happening in the nervous system when the therapy relationship itself becomes the source of activation, and why that's not a sign something is wrong with you.
In this episode we cover:
- Why wanting your therapist to parent you is not pathology, it's your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do
- Why being truly seen can trigger a threat response for people with complex trauma
- When grounding can actually widen a rupture instead of helping
- What needs to happen before any regulation tool can land
- What co-regulation really looks like in the therapy room
- Why the therapist's own nervous system regulation matters more than most people realize
- What relational repair actually looks like in practice
- How to bring a rupture into the room even when it feels terrifying
- How to know if this is a healing edge or a therapist fit issue
About Katie Fries: Katie Fries, MSW, LCSW, RPT is the founder of All of You Therapy, a group therapy practice in Center City Philadelphia serving clients throughout Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Katie works from a relational, body-oriented, experiential lens with a deep specialization in early relational trauma, attachment, and parent-child relationships. She is trained in AEDP, IFS, Gestalt, Theraplay, EMDR, and Psychedelic Somatic Interactional Psychotherapy among many others. Katie also offers clinical and business consultation.
Learn more about her therapy practice: allofyoutherapy.net
For theraists looking for consultation: katiefries.com
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Learn more about EMDR & trauma therapy in Pennsylvania with Reclaim Therapy
This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or nutritional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
Remember, I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. Nothing in this podcast is meant to replace actual therapy or treatment. If you're in crisis or things feel really unsafe right now, please reach out to someone. You can call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, text them, or head to your nearest ER.
The views expressed by the host and guests are their own and do not represent the opinions of any organizations or institutions. Reliance on any information provided by this podcast is solely at your own risk.
