Tara McCausland shares an SAL 12 Step Conference keynote presentation by therapist and 12-step participant Amanda Christensen. Amanda explains how childhood power dynamics, explicit and implicit family rules, and family systems patterns can shape secrecy, emotional neglect, perfectionism, and vulnerability to sexual acting out. Amanda shares her own discovery trauma and distinguishes sexual acting-out trauma from deception trauma, emphasizing how secrets and manipulation undermine the betrayed partner’s reality, self-trust, and attachment safety. She outlines common power struggles in couples and within oneself, urging people to exit power battles and move toward surrender and “healthy powerlessness.” She recommends deeper work on underlying wounds through 12-step and therapy, therapeutic disclosure, steps one, four, and nine, transparency agreements, boundaries, and ongoing connection to support healing and choice.
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