A protective part shows up mid-session — the fear, the overwhelm, the inner critic — and most of us are taught to treat it as an interruption. Mallory Burggraaf has learned to ask it what it knows.
In this episode, Alex sits down with his longtime Red Beard Somatic Therapy colleague Mallory Burggraaf to trace that arc: how a curious social worker found her way into Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and DARe attachment work; why Juliane "Jules" Taylor Shore's STAIR Method — Self-Trust And Integrated Resilience — felt less like a new modality and more like the bow that ties them all together; what it means to "differentiate and link" so a part becomes a sliver of the pie instead of the whole pie; how witnessing becomes "undoing aloneness"; and why holding activation and regulation at the same time is where new learning — and real change — gets to happen.
Mallory Burggraaf is a licensed therapist and somatic practitioner who has worked in the healing profession for over eleven years. She holds a master's degree in clinical social work and has trained extensively in Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and DARe attachment-focused work, now integrated through the STAIR Method with Juliane Taylor Shore. Based in Denver, Colorado, she works with clients online through Red Beard Somatic Therapy, specializing in relational and developmental trauma with a kind, consent-oriented approach. Learn more at https://www.redbeardsomatictherapy.com/
⏱ KEY HIGHLIGHTS
0:00 Welcome & introductions
2:06 From social work to somatic therapy — Mallory's path
5:05 Self-Trust And Integrated Resilience: what STAIR stands for
7:07 Parts work and the witnessing mind
8:55 When a protector shows up, it knows something
11:26 Fear, overwhelm & the inner judge — protectors we all meet
15:11 Differentiate and link: how the brain moves toward integration
17:35 "We want to feel felt" — attunement and resonance
19:14 Undoing aloneness
21:10 Power-with: "You are the authority of you"
23:45 What a STAIR-informed session actually looks like
25:49 Weaving in sensation: the somatic layer
29:08 Holding space for the helpers and the givers
33:21 Micro-moments of self-acceptance
36:07 Invites, not homework
40:48 Brain science made approachable: the okay / not-okay list
44:05 Memory reconsolidation and the window for change
49:24 Closing reflections
🔗 RESOURCES & LINKS
Connect with Mallory: Licensed therapist & somatic practitioner in Denver, Colorado, working with clients online through Red Beard Somatic Therapy → https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule/a265ffb6/appointment/56810478/calendar/6466800?categories%5B%5D=Free+Consultation
Also mentioned: Juliane "Jules" Taylor Shore (creator of the STAIR Method), Dan Siegel (interpersonal neurobiology), Internal Family Systems (Richard Schwartz), Somatic Experiencing (Peter Levine), DARe attachment work (Diane Poole Heller), and the research on memory reconsolidation and coherence therapy. (Full links in the internal notes below.)
🔗 Book a session with the Red Beard team → https://www.redbeardsomatictherapy.com/ ✉️
📍 FIND US ONLINE
Red Beard Somatic Therapy: https://www.redbeardsomatictherapy.com/ Instagram: @redbeardsomatictherapy
