In this episode of the Open Bedroom Podcast, I welcome Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former NYC dominatrix. Amanda shares her journey discovering her kink identity, her experience as a dominatrix, and her transition into coaching. Our conversation covers BDSM dynamics, power exchange, and how to communicate desires in relationships. Amanda emphasizes that kink is normal, shame-free, and rooted in consent, offering practical advice for couples navigating mismatched desires or introducing kink into their relationships.
Introduction to Amanda Dames (00:00:48)
The host introduces Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former New York City dominatrix, detailing her expertise.
Amanda's Kink Discovery (00:02:13)
Amanda shares her early awareness of her interest in spanking and punishment, starting from the age of five.
The Origins of Kink (00:03:51)
Discussion on whether people are born kinky, exploring ideas like past lives, epigenetics, and trauma as potential origins.
Kink vs. Fetish (00:06:42)
A clear distinction is made between a kink (a nice-to-have) and a fetish (a need-to-have for arousal).
Is Everyone a Little Kinky? (00:08:29)
Amanda argues that most people are a little kinky but are often afraid of the word itself.
Experience as a Dominatrix (00:16:43)
Amanda recounts how she found a job as a dominatrix on Craigslist and what the work actually entailed.
From Dominatrix to Kink Consultant (00:18:26)
Amanda explains her career transition from corporate life and moonlighting as a Domme to becoming a full-time kink consultant.
Living in a 24/7 D/s Relationship (00:21:25)
Amanda describes her current 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, where she is the submissive partner with her live-in Dom.
The Appeal of Submission (00:24:48)
Amanda explains why being in a submissive role is appealing, highlighting the freedom and care it provides.
How to Tell Your Partner About Your Kink (00:44:24)
Amanda provides a step-by-step guide on how to initiate a conversation with a partner about your kinks and fetishes.
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