It’s nearly the end of Term 1, which means the first parents’ evening of the year, usually when you’re shattered and losing your voice. Dylan and Hayden talk about why it’s still worth doing, what parents actually want to hear (whether their child is happy, not fronted adverbials), and whether teachers should be stricter about keeping to time. Then a quick-fire round: online or in person, one long night or two, 5, 10 or 15 minute slots, chasing no-shows, and whether the child should sit in.

In the second half we read out your most unhinged parents’ evening stories. There’s the parent who called a Welsh teacher a nationalist for saying Wales has a capital city, an MFL teacher insulted as a “Europhile”, a parent who doesn’t believe in detention, a five-minute rant aimed at the wrong teacher, and Marjorie, who says hello even though she’s no longer with us. Along the way there’s a row about whether mediums are a con, and Hayden still can’t get over the Nectar card incident.

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