How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something before you even gave yourself the chance to try?
“I can’t raise my prices because people will stop booking.”
“That planner probably already has a florist.”
“Nobody will buy this.”
“My market won’t support it.”
“I don’t have enough followers.”
“I need a better website first.”
“I’m too old.”
“I’m too new.”
There are so many stories we tell ourselves that sound incredibly logical.
And that is exactly what makes them dangerous.
In this episode, Jeni talks about the stories we create around ourselves, our businesses, our circumstances, and our past—and how those stories can quietly become the reason we stay stuck.
Your brain wants to protect you from rejection, embarrassment, failure, judgment, and discomfort.
So it creates reasons not to move.
Sometimes those reasons are legitimate.
But sometimes they are simply fear dressed up as logic.
Jeni shares why one of the most powerful mindset shifts you can make is learning to separate the actual facts from the story you are creating around them.
Maybe you sent a proposal three days ago and have not heard back.
That is the fact.
The story might be:
They hated it.
I’m too expensive.
They found someone better.
They don’t like me.
But none of those things are necessarily true.
Maybe they simply have not looked at it yet.
Jeni also talks about how florists constantly predict other people’s decisions for them.
“They won’t pay that.”
“That planner won’t respond.”
“My client won’t upgrade.”
“People in my market do not spend $10,000 on flowers.”
But how do you actually know?
When you decide someone will say no before you even make the offer, you remove their opportunity to say yes.
Your job is to make the offer.
Their job is to decide.
Jeni also explores the financial cost of limiting beliefs. If the story “no one will pay that” causes you to undercharge every wedding by $500, that belief could cost you $10,000 over 20 weddings.
If you are afraid of bothering people, maybe you never follow up.
If you believe planners already have their preferred florists, maybe you never build those relationships.
If you believe you are not ready for bigger weddings, maybe you keep marketing smaller ones.
Some limiting beliefs have invoices attached to them.
And those invoices can be expensive.
Jeni also explains why your brain will collect evidence for whatever you repeatedly tell it.
If you believe your market is cheap, you will notice every cheap inquiry.
If you believe nobody is booking, you will notice every florist complaining about being slow.
If you believe Instagram no longer works, you will find evidence that proves it.
Your brain is an incredible lawyer.
Give it a belief and it will start building the case.
So what if you started building the case for what you actually want instead?
In this episode, Jeni talks about:
- How we talk ourselves out of opportunities
- Why logical-sounding excuses can be the most dangerous ones
- Separating facts from stories
- Why a lack of response does not automatically mean rejection
- The importance of following up
- Staying visible with planners and referral partners
- Why you should stop predicting other people’s decisions
- The financial cost of limiting beliefs
- How your brain searches for evidence supporting your beliefs
- Changing the questions you ask yourself
- The discomfort of stepping into a new identity
- Why growth can feel threatening to your old version of yourself
- How we mentally rehearse failure before anything has happened
- Replacing worst-case scenarios with possibility
- Looking at the stories behind the behaviors you keep avoiding
- Taking action before you have perfect certainty
Stop saying no for other people
“They won’t pay that.”
How do you know?
“That planner will never respond.”
How do you know?
“My client would never upgrade.”
How do you know?
Stop making decisions on behalf of people who have not even been asked.
Your job is to make the offer. Their job is to decide.
Your limiting beliefs may be expensive
“No one will pay that.”
So you undercharge.
“I don’t want to bother them.”
So you never follow up.
“Planners already have their people.”
So you never reach out.
“I hate being on camera.”
So potential clients never get to know you.
“I’m not ready for bigger weddings.”
So you continue marketing small ones.
Some of your limiting beliefs have invoices attached to them.
Change the question
Instead of:
“What if nobody buys?”
Ask:
What if somebody does?
Instead of:
“What if they think I’m too expensive?”
Ask:
What if they have been looking for exactly this?
Instead of:
“What if I fail?”
Ask:
What happens if this works?
Instead of:
“Who am I to do this?”
Ask:
Why not me?
Instead of:
“I don’t know how.”
Ask:
What is the next thing I need to learn?
The framework
NOTICE
What story am I telling myself?
QUESTION
Is it actually true? What are the facts?
REWRITE
What else could also be true?
MOVE
What would I do next if I stopped believing the old story?
Key takeaway
You do not have to believe every story your brain gives you.
Question it.
Look for the facts.
Create another possibility.
Then take action.
Because maybe you do not need another strategy.
Maybe you just need to stop talking yourself out of the business and life you actually want.
