What happens when you arrive at a season of life you thought would look completely different?

In this solo episode, I get personal about turning 49 and realizing that life hasn’t exactly slowed down the way I imagined it would. With kids growing up, aging parents, changing relationships, empty nesting on the horizon, and a new book in the works, life feels both incredibly full and incredibly good—and also exhausting.

I explore the quiet expectations we carry about the future: When the kids get older, I’ll have more time. When I accomplish this, I’ll finally feel successful. When things settle down, I’ll be present. When I finally get there, I’ll be okay.

But there is always another “then.”

Through the lens of the Enneagram, I look at how each personality type has its own version of what it believes will finally bring safety, worth, peace, satisfaction, or freedom. I also share how my own Type Seven patterns can keep me living slightly ahead of my life—physically present today while mentally organizing tomorrow.

This episode is an invitation to notice where your personality may be keeping you focused on the past or future instead of experiencing the life that is happening right now.

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