In this episode, join the Toolbox team for a rich conversation about how they have learned to listen deeply to their children’s feelings and the impact this has had on their families.
Topics covered:
- How Staylistening heals early hurts in quite dramatic ways
- You can’t fake it - you need to respect your own bandwidth
- How to build your own emotional capacity and how Listening Partnerships help
- After a good dose of connection, children often reveal their underlying feelings
- Naming feelings is best avoided
- We don’t have to fix it
- Stories about how bonding it can be to listen to your kid scream!
- Why it’s simpler to be with an upset child rather than try to distract them or solve their problems
- Staylistening is different to 'cry it out' - how and why
- How this co-regulating approach is different to teaching your child to self regulate and calm down
- Dropping your agenda - trusting that your child will release their feelings when they are good and ready
- Simple and easy are not the same thing (!)
You’ll also hear some really helpful practical suggestions:
- How it’s best not to refer to the end of an emotional episode
- How Staylistening builds remarkable resilience
- How children often use a tiny pretext as a way to share their feelings
- How to be an anchor for your child so they know you’re calm and in your thinking mind and offer the confidence that they can get through any emotional storm
For some more resources on Staylistening try these links:
Staylistening - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2016/08/how-does-crying-help-you-and-your-child/
Chapter 4 in the book Listen by Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore is a great place to learn more about Staylistening (and is also available as an audiobook) - https://www.handinhandparenting.org/listen-five-simple-tools/
Here is a link to the article Belynda refers to: Backbone and Bounce: Building Resilience
https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2013/08/backbone-and-bounce-building-resilience/
What to say during Staylistening:
https://www.handinhandparenting.org/2013/08/what-to-say-during-staylistening/
You can continue the conversation with the toolbox team at talesfromthetoolbox@gmail.com
Follow on social media @talesfromthetoolboxpodcast
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Wishing you lots of connection and joy in your parenting.
Thanks for listening.
• You can connect with Belynda in Australia at belynda.smith@meerilinga.org.au
• You can connect with Alice in Shetland at alice@warmheartedparenting.com
• You can connect with Lara in London at lara@handinhandparenting.org
• You can connect with Stacy in California at growingoodness@gmail.com
• You can connect with Kelly in South Africa at kelly@consciousconfidentparenting.co.za
