Have you ever felt so overwhelmed as a mother that you suddenly snap—and then immediately feel guilty or ashamed about it?
In this episode of Expecting Expats, Amanda and CJ are having an honest, vulnerable conversation about something many mothers experience but few feel comfortable talking about: mom rage.
Mom rage can feel frightening and completely out of character. It might look like yelling, snapping, feeling like you’re about to explode, or simply needing to get away because your nervous system has reached its limit. And while the aftermath can bring a huge amount of guilt and shame, this episode explores a different way of understanding these moments: what if rage is a signal rather than a personal failure?
Amanda and CJ talk openly about their own experiences with mom rage, including the everyday situations that can push them over the edge—from bedtime battles and getting out the door in the morning to overstimulation, expectations, and the enormous mental load of motherhood.
They also explore why anger can be particularly complicated for women. CJ shares insights from Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly about the ways women are often socialized to suppress anger, while Amanda reflects on the difference between ordinary anger and the feeling of rage that seems to take over before you have a chance to respond differently.
And then there’s the expat parenting piece.
When you're raising children abroad, the overwhelm of motherhood can come with another layer of complexity: parenting in a language that isn't your first, navigating unfamiliar systems, worrying about being judged, and trying to reconcile different cultural expectations about what "good parenting" looks like.
We also talk about the difference between guilt and shame, why shame can keep mothers isolated, and how connection and community can help us move from “I am a bad mom” toward “I did something I wish I had handled differently.”
Most importantly, we talk about what can actually help.
From noticing the early physical signs of overwhelm, taking a break, stepping out of the room, asking your partner to take over, grounding yourself, and using tools to reduce sensory overload, Amanda and CJ share some practical strategies that can help you catch yourself before you get on the “crazy train.”
And if you do snap? Repair—with your children, with yourself, and with the people you trust.
Because mom rage is a nervous-system response to overwhelm, not proof that you're a bad mother.
In this episode, we talk about:
- What mom rage actually feels like
- Why mom rage can feel so different from ordinary anger
- Overstimulation, stress, sleep deprivation and the mental load of motherhood
- The connection between anger, boundaries and unmet needs
- Why women are often taught to suppress anger
- Guilt vs. shame—and why the distinction matters
- The role of the nervous system and our fight-or-flight response
- Recognizing the warning signs before you reach your breaking point
- Practical strategies for managing overwhelm
- Repairing with your children after you've snapped
- Parenting across cultures and navigating conflicting expectations
- The additional pressures of expat motherhood
- Why community and connection are so important
- Learning to listen to your anger without taking it out on your children
If you've ever wondered, “Why am I reacting like this? I love my children so much—so why do I feel like I'm about to explode?”—this conversation is for you.
You are not alone. You are not a bad mother. And you don't have to carry the shame by yourself.
Resources mentioned in this episode
📖 Mom Rage: Understanding Anger Before It Erupts
📖 Rage Becomes Her by Soraya Chemaly
🎧 The Motherhood Sessions
🎧 Motherhood Until Yesterday — including the episode On Mom Rage with Mina Dupin
Keywords
expat parenting, expat motherhood, expat family life, expat parenting tips, expat family support, mom rage, motherhood, maternal anger, parenting overwhelm, nervous system, motherhood abroad, international families
