We are living in a time where extreme frugality is being celebrated as discipline. Sleeping on child-sized beds, using things until they fall apart, refusing small comforts, all framed as virtue. And while frugality itself is thoughtful and often wise, there’s a point where saving stops being a value and starts becoming a fear.
In this episode of Money Feels, Alyssa and Bridget explore the emotional, psychological, and financial realities of extreme frugality, and why saving money can sometimes become less about intention and more about safety, control, and identity.
In today’s episode, we discuss:
What extreme frugality actually is (and isn’t)
Why frugality itself is neutral — but extreme frugality becomes identity
When saving stops being about values and starts being about control
Common signs of extreme frugality in everyday life
Why extreme frugality often comes from scarcity — even years later
How childhood experiences shape comfort with spending
Why saving soothes the nervous system and spending can feel threatening
Why logic and spreadsheets don’t always change behaviour
The hidden emotional costs of chronic deprivation
How extreme frugality can flatten joy and create shame around desire
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