THESE GUYS!
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DEATH ROW SCHOOL LUNCH + FALL FITS + SNICKERS GOAT CANDY? | These Guys! 205

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Is a Snickers bar actually a magic power bar containing healthy fats and essential energy, or did your dad just gas you up at 8 years old so you'd play better in the second game of a Little League double-header? We are back in the clubhouse today making the ultimate case for Snickers as the avocado of candy and admitting that we're both empaths who feel genuinely heartbroken for the unworn shoes in our closets. We recall the tragedy of elite NFL cornerbacks falling off and going to the Steelers for 2 years (Patrick Peterson)  We relive going to your homie's house with an older brother who had all his friends over which felt like hanging out in an All-Star locker room with LeBron, AI, and Carmelo Anthony.

Then we talk cliché post-college jobs—from Enterprise rental car salesmen and cold-calling life insurance reps in an Applebee's to corporate quarter-zip guys and Instagram-verified realtors pitching "two-story ranches" in Carmel. To close things out, we construct our ultimate Death Row high school cafeteria last meal (featuring Wednesday Papa John's, country fried steak with extra gravy, and those legendary unbaked freshman-year chocolate chip cookies in thin plastic bags), we pay homage to Chiller for walking into lunch with zero money and leaving with $100 in cash, and debate the most unforgettable ESPN ticker moments in television history

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