Sis, we’re heading into the season of triggers — and if you’re already spiraling about how you’ll handle all the food, all the people, and all the comments about bodies and what’s on your plate, this episode is your armor.
You know the moment: you sit down at the table, and your aunt says “you look so healthy, are you eating more?” or “wow, you’ve lost so much weight!” — and just like that, your chest tightens, your throat closes, and before you even realize it, you’re making plans to restrict tomorrow or add an extra workout this week. I’ve been there (Thanksgiving was the trigger for me). So today I’m handing you the real-time game plan I walk through with my clients — including one, “Allison,” who texted me mid-panic from a family gathering this week.
The 6-step plan for when you’re triggered:
- Notice your body. Drop out of your racing head and into your body. Is your chest tight? Shoulders at your ears? Jaw clenched? Holding your breath? Don’t judge it, don’t fix it — just notice. Your body is giving you all the information you need.
- Breathe. Hand on your belly, deep breath through your nose, slow exhale. This isn’t woo-woo — it’s how you re-regulate your nervous system. You’re safe. You don’t need to run, fight, or freeze. Breathing creates space between the trigger and your reaction — and that space is where your power lives.
- Name the sensation. Where’s the tension? Chest, stomach, shoulders? When you name what feels overwhelming, you make it make sense — “this is what’s happening in my body right now” — so you can address what comes next.
- Name the emotion. Not the story your mind is spinning, not the restriction plan — the actual emotion. Scared? Ashamed? Not good enough? Say it out loud if you can. You can’t heal what you won’t feel and acknowledge.
- Give it compassion. That emotion exists because at some point it kept you safe — a time you learned your worth was tied to your appearance or how little space you took up. But that old experience isn’t happening now. You’re not that former version of you anymore. Put your hand on your heart: “I hear you. I see you. I know you’re trying to protect me — but I’m okay now.”
- Meet your now needs. This is where action happens. Not what the disorder says — what does your body need? Maybe fresh air. Maybe texting your person. Maybe eating because you’re actually hungry. Maybe doing the opposite of what your brain screams — when you want to run from the table, you stay.
The heart of it — act as if you’re already her. Your future, recovered self already knows how to move through this. So ask: would she leave the table and restrict? Would she over-exercise tomorrow to “make up” for tonight? Or would she trust her body, rest, and know this trigger is just a blip? You have to stop operating from an unhealed place if you want healed results. Wounds cannot make decisions. She’s not so distant, sis. She’s you — making the choice right now.
“Triggers just bring you toward your testimony. Keep showing up for yourself, and one day you’ll look back and barely recognize that those things ever triggered you. That recovered version of you is going to wrap her arms around you and say, ‘See, sis? You did it. You made it.’”
Don’t head into the holidays white-knuckling it alone. This is exactly the work we do together — walking through real triggers with live coaching, tools, and a community of women who get it in the Recovery Collective. And if you know you need deeper, one-on-one support, I have a few limited private coaching spots. Find both at www.herbestself.co (and the Recovery Collective at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective.
Come join our free community at www.herbestselfsociety.com — Lindsey would love to get to know you and walk with you through this.
I believe you belong recovered — not just because I'm recovered, but because if I can do this, so can you. If this episode blessed you, follow the show, leave a rating and review, and share it with someone you love. 💛
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
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Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.
