Send us Fan Mail
Many of us have become so accustomed to being the capable one—the person who helps, fixes and takes responsibility—that we rarely stop to ask whether everything we are carrying is actually ours to carry.
In this episode of The Autoimmune RESET, I’m joined by Dr Rachel Morris, former GP, host of the You Are Not a Frog podcast and creator of The Shapes Toolkit.
Rachel introduces us to what she calls the responsibility trap: the gradual accumulation of responsibility without it ever being consciously or explicitly handed over. Although particularly common among healthcare professionals, it is a pattern that will resonate with anyone who feels responsible for keeping everything—and everyone—together.
We explore the three mechanisms that can keep us trapped: the silence gap, the helping reflex and the mismatch between control and responsibility. Rachel also explains why “just say no” is rarely useful advice when saying no feels like a failure of identity rather than a straightforward practical decision.
This is an important conversation about shame, boundaries, capacity and the difference between genuinely caring for others and automatically carrying responsibility for them.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Why caring about something does not necessarily make you responsible for it
- The subtle ways responsibility can land on us without being explicitly assigned
- The silence gap, the helping reflex and the control–responsibility mismatch
- Why shame often sits beneath an automatic “yes”
- Why logical advice about boundaries may not reach the real source of the problem
- How to distinguish what you care about from what you can genuinely control
- Why saying yes when you cannot sustain it may simply create a deferred let-down
- The limitations of telling people to become more resilient within structurally unhealthy systems
- How to begin making more conscious and sustainable choices about what you carry
About Dr Rachel Morris
Dr Rachel Morris is a former GP, the host of the You Are Not a Frog podcast and the creator of The Shapes Toolkit. Her work helps healthcare professionals and other people working in high-pressure roles beat stress, set healthier boundaries and work more sustainably—without believing they simply need to become tougher or more resilient.
Connect with Rachel
Website: youarenotafrog.com
Instagram and LinkedIn: @drrachelmorris
Free Overwhelm SOS Toolkit: youarenotafrog.com/overwhelm
Beat Stress and Thrive course: The Shapes Toolkit
If this episode resonates with you, please subscribe to The Autoimmune RESET, leave a review and share it with someone who may be carrying more than is truly theirs.
📥 Ready for a more structured, personalised approach?
→ Apply to work with me
— we’ll create a clear, step-by-step plan tailored to your body, your symptoms, and your goals.
📥 New to the podcast or need a starting point?
→ Download my free The Autoimmunity Recovery Plan
— a simple guide that outlines the steps I recommend
The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider.
Thanks for listening! You can join The Autoimmune Forum on Facebook or find me on Instagram @theautoimmunitynutritionist.
