Ever notice how the second you say "why is this happening to me," your whole body tenses up like something bad is about to go down?
Today I have Tessa Romero as my guest and we talked about some emotional/mental root causes of hormone imbalances AND feeling misaligned in your motherhood. We talked about the victim mentality. Not in a "just think positive" way. In a "your nervous system is reading this as danger and your hormones are paying the price" way.
Tessa has four kids under 8 and has coached women through infertility, cancer treatment, every kind of hormone chaos you can think of. She broke down exactly how the stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances, yes, including our hormone symptoms, keep our body stuck in survival mode.
Here's what we cover:
- The four red flags that mean you're in victim mentality right now, even if you'd never label it that way
- Why your body treats "this is happening TO me" the same way it treats a real threat
- What you're actually getting out of staying stuck, and why that question changes everything
- A simple phrase Tessa uses with her own kids that instantly de-escalates a meltdown, hers or theirs
- Why "become over outcome" might be the single most important mindset shift for anyone trying to get pregnant, heal hormonally, or just feel like themselves again
- The real difference between strength and pride, and why most of us have been mixing them up for years
So why does any of this matter for your hormones? Fair question, I asked her the same thing.
When you feel stuck, like life is happening to you and you have zero say in it, your nervous system doesn't know the difference between "my toddler is losing it in Target" and an actual emergency. It reads that low-grade, all-day feeling of powerlessness as danger. And when your body thinks it's in danger, hormone production is not the priority. Safety is. So all that energy your body would normally spend making progesterone or regulating your cycle gets rerouted into survival mode instead.
This is why you can be eating right, taking your supplements, sleeping decently, and still feel like your hormones are working against you. If your mind is stuck in a story where everything is happening TO you, your body is stuck right there with it.
One thing Tessa said stopped me mid-sentence. The victim mentality is always trying to get something good. Attention, help, recognition, nurturing. We're not bad people chasing bad things; we just picked a rough way to go get them. Which means the fix isn't shame, it's redirection. You still get to want those things. You just get to ask yourself, "who do I want to be while I go get them?"
That reframe alone took the shame out of it for me, and I think it will for you too.
We also got into marriage, obviously, because where else would this conversation go? That moment where your husband says something, you go cold and silent, and you're just waiting for him to notice and apologize? Tessa calls it out with so much love and humor, and shares what her husband does instead when she raises her voice.
If you've ever felt like your hormone symptoms are just something happening to you, something you have no say in, this episode hands you a completely different way to look at it. And a few small phrases that actually shift how your body responds to stress.
Your symptoms are real, but how you relate to them, whether you're the victim of your body or you’re someone learning your body, changes how you show up while you heal.
Grab your coffee and give this one a real listen, maybe even twice. Tessa also shares where to find her Yes Family Flipbook if you want practical scripts to use at home too.
And if you catch yourself thinking "well that explains a lot" somewhere around minute twenty, text that part to a friend who needs to hear it too.
CONNECT WITH TESSA:
Yes Family Flipbook
Website
The Momset Podcast
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Disclaimer: Nothing in this podcast is to be taken as medical advice, please take informed accountability and speak to your provider before making changes to your health routine.
This podcast is for women and moms to learn how to balance hormones naturally in motherhood, to have pain-free periods, increased fertility, to decrease PMS mood swings, and to increase energy without restrictive diet plans. You'll learn how to balance blood sugar, increase progesterone naturally, understand the root cause of estrogen dominance, irregular periods, PCOS, insulin resistance, hormonal acne, post birth-control syndrome, and conceive naturally. We use a pro-metabolic, whole food, root cause approach to functional women's health and focus on truly holistic health and mind-body connection.
If you listen to any of the following shows, we're sure you'll like ours too!
Pursuit of Wellness with Mari Llewellyn, Culture Apothecary with Alex Clark, Found My Fitness with Rhonda Patrick, Just Ingredients Podcast, Wellness Mama, The Dr Josh Axe Show, Are You Menstrual Podcast, The Model Health Show, Grounded Wellness By Primally Pure, Be Well By Kelly Leveque, The Freely Rooted Podcast with Kori Meloy, Simple Farmhouse Life with Lisa Bass
