When you are still dealing with coercive control or post-separation abuse, healing can feel impossible. How do you rebuild a life when the abuse has not completely ended?
In this episode, I’m joined by Anne Paphitis, a survivor and life coach joining us from Ireland. We talk about how she found moments of joy while she was still in her marriage and continued rebuilding herself through the fallout that followed.
Anne shares the small but intentional choices that helped her remember she was more than what she was experiencing. From using her grandmother’s special glasses every day to trying new classes and reconnecting with creativity, she learned to create parts of her life that the abuse did not get to define.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Finding times when it is safe to feel safe
- Creating a mental container for what you cannot address right now
- Remembering who you are outside of the abuse
- Using small rituals to bring beauty and meaning back into your life
- Learning to trust your choices again
- Trying new things without making every wrong fit mean something about you
- Why healing does not require the abuse to disappear completely
- The power of community and being around people who reflect the good parts of you back to you
You are not only a survivor. Even if you are still living with the fallout, you can begin discovering who you are, what you enjoy, and what you want the next part of your life to include.
Connect w/ Anne
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/anne-paphitis-066443116/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/1CuP8BgfVe/
Website: https://www.contoura-collective.co.uk/
About Anne:
Anne Paphitis believes that life can be rebuilt, even after everything familiar has been stripped away. Born and raised in South Africa, Anne founded and ran a Cambridge school for young people who didn’t fit into mainstream education — students navigating anxiety, bullying, depression, and self-doubt. Watching them rediscover confidence, succeed academically, and later return to share their stories shaped her belief that transformation often begins when someone believes they are capable of more.
After completing formal coaching training in 2019, Anne expanded her work to help adults navigate change, resilience, and personal reinvention. Having rebuilt her own life several times — from moving countries, falling in love with Ireland, selling her school, and taking on a new business venture — she brings a deeply personal understanding of uncertainty, courage, and starting again.
Anne’s coaching focuses on resilience, midlife reinvention, emotional wellbeing, and finding purpose through practical, meaningful steps. As a podcast guest, she brings warmth, honesty, and curiosity to conversations about rebuilding confidence, embracing change, and taking the first small step toward a more fulfilling life.
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