What I Discussed With Malia Lazu…
- Why so many women spend years putting everyone else's needs before their own—including in the bedroom.
- What the "pleasure gap" reveals about women's sexual satisfaction and why the issue goes far beyond orgasm.
- How shame, social conditioning and unrealistic expectations stop women from asking for what they truly want.
- Why learning what gives you pleasure is the first step towards better intimacy with a partner.
- How creating emotionally safe spaces allows women to explore sexuality without judgement.
- Why being single, child-free or choosing unconventional relationships can be deeply fulfilling later in life.
- How letting go of outdated ideas about ageing can open the door to greater confidence, curiosity and sexual freedom.
- Why stopping the habit of "faking it" could transform not only your sex life, but your relationship with yourself.
And much more...
Episode Chapters
00:00 Introduction
01:10 Why Malia Created Sunflower Spa
04:30 The Pleasure Gap and Why Women Fake Orgasms
08:00 Shame, Safety and Talking Honestly About Sex
12:30 Why Women Need Spaces to Learn from Each Other
15:30 Challenging Myths About Sexuality After 50
18:00 Being Child-Free, Single and Sexually Confident
22:00 Decentring Men and Redefining Relationships
27:00 Why Self-Pleasure Builds Better Relationships
32:00 Final Reflections: Grace, Purpose, Power and Pleasure
Show Notes
Who told us that getting older meant becoming quieter, less visible or less interested in pleasure?
For many women, the second half of life brings an unexpected opportunity—not simply to rethink relationships, but to rethink the stories we've been telling ourselves for decades. Stories about worthiness, desire, ageing and what we're supposedly allowed to want.
In this episode, I'm joined by entrepreneur and community organiser Malia Lazu, founder of Sunflower Spa, a women-centred space dedicated to healing sensuality, confidence and belonging. Rather than seeing pleasure as something frivolous or self-indulgent, Malia argues that it's deeply connected to how we value ourselves and the choices we make throughout our lives.
Together we explore why so many women continue to fake satisfaction, remain silent about their needs or feel guilty for putting themselves first. We also discuss what happens when women begin to challenge those assumptions—whether that means exploring self-pleasure, embracing life without children, questioning traditional relationship expectations or simply becoming more honest about what feels good.
What stayed with me most is the reminder that pleasure isn't really the destination. It's often the by-product of feeling safe, respected and fully present in your own body. And perhaps that's something we become better at as we age—not despite getting older, but because of it.
Because the greatest freedom may not be finding someone else to choose us. It may be finally choosing ourselves.
Listen, learn and enjoy.
Key Takeaways
- Pleasure begins with self-awareness, not with a partner.
- Many women fake satisfaction because they struggle to communicate their needs.
- Emotional safety is essential for fulfilling intimacy.
- Social conditioning continues to shape women's sexuality throughout life.
- Self-pleasure helps people understand what they genuinely enjoy.
- Relationships shouldn't leave you emotionally exhausted.
- Growing older creates opportunities to redefine intimacy and partnership.
- Being single or child-free can be deeply fulfilling.
- Honest communication benefits both partners.
- Self-worth and sexual confidence are closely connected.
About the Guest
Malia Lazu is an entrepreneur, community organiser and the founder of Sunflower Spa, a women-centred community focused on healing, sensuality and belonging. After years leading businesses and working with major organisations, Malia shifted her focus towards creating spaces where women can explore pleasure, identity and self-worth without shame or judgement. Through workshops, community events and educational resources, she encourages women to reconnect with themselves, embrace authentic relationships and redefine what fulfilment looks like at every stage of life.
About Suzanne
Suzanne Noble is a sex and relationship expert, author, and host of the Sex Advice for Seniors podcast—one of the top-rated shows empowering people 50+ to embrace confident, joyful intimacy. Known for her candid, warm, and often humorous approach, Suzanne challenges age-related taboos, misinformation, and awkward conversations about sex after 50. She helps millions around the world navigate their sexual lives with pleasure, connection, and self-assurance. Because life is too short for bad sex... or silence about it.
Connect With Suzanne
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Want More?
Visit the Website: https://sexadviceforseniors.com — includes FREE guides and resources for better sex at any age.
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Interested in 1:1 Coaching or Custom Sex Advice for Seniors Sessions? https://tidycal.com/suzannenoble/30-minute-mentoring
Related Episodes
Bonus Live: What Great Sex Looks Like After 50 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-sex-advice-738
Bonus Live: Does Pleasure Really Get Better With Age? - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/live-with-suzanne-noble-and-avivah
Desire Doesn't Retire: The Secret Sex Lives of People Over 60 - https://www.sexadviceforseniors.com/p/getting-down-and-dirty-with-kathy
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