Let's stop the toxic positivity! Just because active cancer treatment may have ended, we don't have to be endlessly positive and grateful for it all. What comes next can be hard.
That's why I invited Jessica Zucker, clinical psychologist, author of the bestselling book ‘Normalize It: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame that Pervade Women's Lives’ and breast cancer survivor, to talk about the long silence that often follows women through miscarriage, breast cancer, tamoxifen and medical menopause.
Jessica and I talk about what it means to live with the aftermath of treatment, when the symptoms linger, the uncertainty stays, and the pressure to keep smiling can feel almost unbearable.
We also discuss the hidden toll of tamoxifen, the emotional impact of medical menopause, and why phrases like “you’re a warrior” or “at least” can sometimes do more harm than good.
Jessica was so open about how even she, as a psychologist, found the experience of tamoxifen and long-term side effects surprising and difficult.
We talk about exhaustion, brain fog, loss of creativity, grief, perfectionism and the illusion of control, and why so much of this still goes unsaid.
This is a conversation about naming the harder parts out loud, and making space for honesty, nuance and connection.
Key topics
- The pressure to stay positive after cancer and the harm of toxic positivity
- Jessica’s experience of tamoxifen and medical menopause
- Exhaustion, brain fog and the emotional impact of treatment side effects
- Grief, uncertainty and the pressure to make the “right” decisions
Find Jessica’s fantastic book ‘Normalize It: Upending the Silence, Stigma, and Shame That Shape Women's Lives’ here https://a.co/d/0hLfwz2z
Episode Highlights:
00:00 Intro
04:07 Discussing the stigma of grief
09:08 Getting a life-changing diagnosis
12:43 Discussing cancer diagnosis and treatment
13:54 Discussing tamoxifen
23:10 Therapists seeking therapy for themselves
24:38 Coping with tamoxifen side effects
28:43 Pressure of Being a Cancer Warrior
31:57 Controlling health outcomes reality check
37:30 Coping with grief and aging
42:58 Sharing personal challenges for impact
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