Coach Patrick, trained therapist and our mental and emotional health coach at Man Flow Yoga, and I recently hosted a Be The Better You Retreat.
Each one of these retreats hones in on a different theme based on the guys who attend. This most recent event was about finding yourself, or as Coach Patrick puts it:
Remembering yourself!
As we grow up, we put on different masks (or act as different characters) because somewhere along the way, usually by age 7, our subconscious mind discovered that this was the way to receive love and to feel safe.
But while it was true during childhood, it morphs into something sinister in adulthood that usually manifests itself as shame, self-hatred, a lack of confidence, and zero motivation.
This saps your energy, traps you in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts and anxiety, and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. But the solution is as simple as it is difficult:
Taking off your mask, setting down the characters, and becoming more of yourself again each day. You can do this on your own with the help of a therapist and a journaling and meditation practice. Or, as Coach Patrick and I have realized through hosting these retreats, you can accelerate your journey of remembering yourself through community.
Here's what Coach Patrick and I discuss:
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How shame-based motivation saps your energy and motivation and will eventually make you hate exercising
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Why the natural male inclination to solve instead of listen is part of the reason we feel so isolated and alone
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The importance of community in accelerating your self-discovery journey
And so much more including…
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Why men find it easier to "remember themselves" than to "find themselves" (and how this makes you more confident, motivated, and whole) (3:33)
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Have you done the "7 Why's" exercise to motivate yourself to become healthier but it didn't work? Here's the reason it didn't work and wasn't sustainable: (4:20)
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The strange way your subconscious creates patterns when you're young that subtly control your behavior into adulthood (5:31)
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3 difficult questions fear asks that prevents you from taking off your mask and being your true self (7:13)
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How community is a cheat code for fostering confidence, self-love, and personal growth (7:46)
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The deeper truth about why you're living under constant stress (8:38)
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How to practice your personality in the same way you'd practice yoga or strength training (14:00)
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The single most insidious subconscious belief pattern that quietly affects more men's lives than perhaps any other belief or external thing (19:23)
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How to eradicate your fear by asking yourself one question again and again (21:22)
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Why saying things out loud (with your actual vocal cords) instantly cuts through your bullshit (26:11)
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How undigested guilt eats your energy, drains your motivation, and puts your fear in the driver seat (27:15)
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The "shoulding yourself" trap that's so easy to fall into and so devastating to believe (32:51)
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The weird way being silly and unserious makes it easier, or less daunting, to confront the heavier stuff (35:41)
Resources mentioned in this episode:
1. 2027 Man Flow Yoga Events: If you're interested in joining the next Be The Better You Retreat (happening in Austin, TX in spring 2027), join the interest list here: https://manflowyoga.com/training/in-person-events/
2. Rapid Release: The mobility tool I've been obsessed with these past couple of months because I can use it while I watch TV to free myself from pain and tightness. Save 10% when you use my link here: https://manflowyoga.com/rapidrelease
3. Man Flow Yoga: Haven't signed up yet? Start your 7-day free trial and see how yoga can eliminate aches and pains better than other types of exercise here: https://shrtlnk.co/kP8M7
