When was the last time someone asked you, and really wanted to know, "what's it like to be you?”
Not "how are you?" followed by "fine." I mean a real genuine desire to know what your world us like, whatever your answer.
In this episode, Sarah Rose is joined by David Bedrick, a counsellor, teacher and author who has spent more than 40 years exploring one of the most common and most hidden human experiences - shame.
David shares how growing up with a violent father and a mother who couldn't see what was happening shaped his life's work. For David, shame isn't simply a feeling - it’s an internalised witness, the voice that looks at our experience and asks, "what's wrong with you?"
What touched Sarah most were his stories. David shows what happens when we meet symptoms with curiosity rather than judgement. He describes a woman whose stutter hid a fierce, powerful voice, a woman who hadn't left her home in ten years and the client who insisted her childhood was "fine" but carried a lifetime of feeling that she didn't matter.
He also explains why we can't cure ourselves of ourselves, and why love begins with truly seeing another person.
In this episode we explore:
- Why shame is an internalised witness rather than just a strong emotion
- How most shame stays invisible, even to the person carrying it
- What "unshaming" means, and how it differs from denial, gaslighting and pathologising
- Why symptoms can carry intelligence and medicine and are not just problems to “fix”
- The danger of comparing your pain ("it wasn't that bad")
- How untold stories pass down through generations, including the storytellers of Hiroshima and Nagasaki
- The single most powerful question: *What's it like to be you?*
- A simple daily practice to begin unshaming your inner critic
- David's beautiful definition of love as seeing, feeling and believing
Content note: This episode touches on tender and sensitive themes, including childhood trauma.
David Bedrick, J.D., Dipl. PW, is the founder of the UnShaming Way — a depth-psychology approach built on one conviction: your symptoms, struggles, and survival strategies carry intelligence, not pathology. He is the author of five books, including The Unshaming Way (North Atlantic Books), endorsed by Gabor Maté, MD. He has trained hundreds of clinicians and taught thousands of individuals. Before psychology, he practiced law; before law, he survived the home that taught him everything the books later confirmed. That is his deepest credential: he knows both harms — the violence, and the denial of it — from the inside. His work has appeared in Psychology Today and reaches hundreds of thousands of readers through his essays on trauma, shame, and the witness.
RESOURCES FROM DAVID
www.davidbedrick.com
https://www.instagram.com/david.bedrick/
Free course: Masterclass on Unshaming Essentials
RESOURCES FROM SARAH
Sarah has two gifts for you 🥰
Awakening Sensuality Through Breast Massage — a practice for women
Arriving Slowly — a connection practice for couples
Sign up to receive both at www.sarahrosebright.com
To explore more of Sarah's work, including her courses, retreats, and her podcast, Making Love, visit www.sarahrosebright.com
ABOUT YOUR HOST
Sarah Rose Bright is an Erotic Embodiment and Intimacy Guide, authorised teacher of The Making Love Retreat®, and host of Making Love, a podcast on the evolution of love, sex, and relationships. She guides women and committed couples who feel stuck and unfulfilled in their intimate lives - and know this is the missing piece. Women come home to their bodies, awaken their desire, and reclaim their power. Couples create an erotic life of depth, passion, and love. Find out more: https://sarahrosebright.com/
MUSIC: Trust and Surrender by Ayla Schafer. You can explore more of her beautiful music here - https://www.aylaschafer.co.uk/
