226: RED FLAGS & GREEN FLAGS: How to Know If You're Ready to Date (Most People Get This Wrong) | Alley Vallotton

I sat down with my daughter-in-law Alley for one of the most requested conversations on the Brave Co podcast: how to actually date well. We dig into why so few people were ever taught how to date, what it really means to be ready for a relationship, and why "dating yourself" first changes everything about how you show up for someone else.

From there, Alley and I walk through defining the relationship instead of letting it drift "organically," why trust in marriage actually starts on your very first date, and how leading with intentionality removes so much of the anxiety that ruins modern dating. Then we get into the intimacy ladder, fourteen questions I've used to figure out whether someone is safe, fun, aligned in values, and ready to build a real future, including how to handle a partner's past, how to fight fair, and how to keep God (not each other) as your source of security.

If you're dating, thinking about dating, or just want to understand why your relationship feels stuck at a certain level, this episode gives you a real framework instead of guesswork. Stay brave out there, and if this helped you, subscribe to the Brave Co podcast and share it with someone who needs it.

Chapters:
00:00 – Welcome
07:08 – Are You Ready to Date? Learning to "Date Yourself" First
14:20 – Trust Starts on Day One, Not on Your Wedding Day
21:24 – Killing the "Organic Dating" Myth
28:36 – A Framework for Every Step of Dating
35:51 – "Is This the One?" 
42:57 – Red Flags, Safe People, and Handling Someone's Past
50:05 – Insecurity, Neediness, and Keeping God in the God Spot
57:16 – Conflict Skills: How Couples Learn to Fight Fair
1:04:27 – Unconditional Love, Win-Win, and Why "Forever Isn't Long Enough"

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