You fix other people's problems for a living. So when the problem is yours, why does asking for help feel like admitting defeat?
As many as one in four lawyers are quietly struggling with anxiety, depression, addiction, or burnout. In the first decade of practice, it's one in three. And most are doing exactly what the profession trained them to do: perform, produce, and suffer in silence. In this episode, Gary sits down with Nicki Ellington of the North Carolina Lawyer Assistance Program to demystify one of the most powerful and least understood resources available to attorneys today. If you've ever wondered what happens when a lawyer picks up the phone and calls a LAP, this conversation is for you.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Understand what LAP actually is, who it serves, and the full range of issues it addresses beyond substance use.
- Learn how confidentiality protects you and why calling LAP does not put your license at risk.
- Recognize the early warning signs of trouble long before a crisis hits.
- Hear why the biggest resistance is not the phone call itself, but the belief that you should be able to fix yourself.
- Discover why lawyer-to-lawyer peer support does what clinical care alone cannot.
- Understand why LAP works with you for as long as you need, without a time limit or a checkbox to close.
- Reframe mental health care the way you would treat any medical condition: ongoing, not one-and-done.
If this episode moved you, share it with a colleague who needs to hear it. Subscribe to The Free Lawyer wherever you listen. And if something in you is whispering that it's time, reach out. To your state's LAP, to a therapist, to a friend, or to Gary directly at gary@garymiles.net. The first message is the hardest. It's also the one that changes everything.
[00:00] — Why lawyers suffer in silence
[03:15] — Nicki's path to serving lawyers
[07:30] — What NCLAP actually does
[12:45] — Confidentiality explained in plain English
[17:20] — The full scope of what LAP treats
[22:10] — Peer support and volunteer network
[24:30] — Why lawyers wait too long to call
[28:00] — What change looks like over time
[32:00] — Building a life worth living
[35:50] — The first call and next step
Nicki Ellington serves as the LAP Counselor for the Eastern Region of the North Carolina Lawyer Assistance Program, where she provides mental health and substance use support to attorneys, judges, and law students. She helps high-functioning legal professionals access confidential care before struggles become crises, and walks alongside them as they build sustainable, fulfilling careers. A Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist with a master's degree from Marymount University, Nicki trained intensively at Duke University in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Two decades into her clinical career, she remains driven by a simple conviction: every lawyer deserves to build a life worth living.
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