On Disney dad, effort asymmetry, and why the conversation to have is before you go — not during.
Summer in a stepfamily isn't like summer anywhere else. The routine disappears, the kids are around more, and somewhere in the middle of it all, you're supposed to be enjoying yourself.
If you're already dreading it before it's even started, this episode is for you.
Resources mentioned:
You can find the Summer Sorted planning worksheet mentioned in the episode at stepmumspace.com in the resources section. And there's a couples downloadable to help you prepare for the holidays here too.
The summer holidays hit differently when you're a stepmum. It's not just more time with the kids — it's the loss of the structure that was quietly holding everything together. The routine that made things predictable. The school week that gave you some ground to stand on. When that goes, the stress doesn't just increase. It doubles, and the days blur into each other.
This episode is a direct response to a question from Rachel, who summed it up better than most: dreading the holidays, more time together, kids turning their noses up at food on holiday, and a partner who turns into full Disney dad the moment they arrive.
Katie takes each of those things seriously — because none of them are small. The food refusal that isn't really about the food. The Disney dad dynamic that can quietly unravel an entire trip if it isn't named before you go. The effort asymmetry that leaves you carrying every detail while nobody else in the room seems to notice.
There's practical advice here — specific, not vague — about the conversation worth having with your partner before the holidays start rather than in the moment when things are already going wrong. And an honest reframe about what more time together actually depends on, and why arriving into six weeks with no thought given to your own needs is going to grind you down.
You don't have to love every minute of it. And you're not failing if you're a bit relieved when it ends.
WHAT YOU'LL HEAR IN THIS EPISODE:
- Why losing routine hits stepmums harder than most people understand — and what it's actually taking away
- The real reason a child refusing food on holiday feels so personal, and why your reaction makes complete sense
- What Disney dad is actually about — guilt, compensation, and why good intentions don't make it easier for you to live with
- The one conversation worth having with your partner before the holiday starts — and why it needs to be specific, not general
- Why anxiety thrives in vagueness and how naming what you're actually dreading gives you some control back
- What to put in place for yourself before six weeks of no routine begins — so it lands differently when it does
THIS EPISODE IS FOR YOU:
- If you're a stepmum who starts dreading the summer holidays weeks before they begin
- If your partner becomes a completely different person on holiday and you're left feeling like the only adult in the room
- If the kids turn their noses up at everything you've organised and you can feel yourself unravelling
- If you carry all the planning and logistics and nobody around you seems to notice or acknowledge it
- If you feel guilty for being relieved when the holidays end
- If you want something practical to do right now, before the summer starts, rather than managing it in the moment
TIMESTAMPS:
[00:00] Why summer feels heavier in a stepfamily
[02:30] The loss of routine — why it matters more than it sounds
[04:30] The food refusal that isn't really about the food
[06:30] Disney dad on holiday — what's actually going on
[09:00] What actually helps — and why the conversation has to happen before you go
If this resonated, share it with a stepmum who needs to hear it before the holidays hit. You can find the Summer Sorted planning worksheet mentioned in the episode at stepmumspace.com in the resources section. And there's a couples downloadable to help you prepare for the holidays here too. And if the podcast helps, a review on Apple Podcasts makes a real difference to who finds it.
Support the show
Links mentioned in this episode:
Book your place on the Stepmum Reset — stepmumspace.com/stepmumreset
Find out more about Back In Control — stepmumspace.com/backincontrol
Book a free clarity call — stepmumspace.com/clarity
Get the free Influence Gap guide — stepmumspace.com/influencegap
