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Season 5 is here—and we’re starting with sex.
More specifically, we’re jumping into a debate happening in Catholic circles online:
Are Catholic marriage speakers being more prescriptive about sex than the Catholic Church actually is?
Recently, Catholic speakers such as Jackie Angel have received criticism for saying plainly that sexual intimacy between husband and wife should culminate in intercourse—what we refer to in our book Lovemaking as PIV. The criticism isn’t simply that this language is too explicit.
The deeper argument is: The Church never actually says that. You’re adding your own interpretation to Church teaching. So… are we?
In this season-opening episode, we begin working through that question by going directly to Humanae Vitae 11 and 12 and asking what the Church means when it teaches that every marital act must preserve both its unitive and procreative meanings. And we quickly discover that the disagreement isn’t only about sex.
It’s also about how Catholics read Church documents, how doctrine gets pastorally communicated, how natural law works, and whether making a teaching easier to understand is the same thing as adding something to it.
We talk about:
- Why Catholic social media is arguing about how married couples should have sex
- The criticism directed toward Jackie Angel and other Catholic marriage speakers
- Why we use the abbreviation PIV when discussing intercourse
- Whether talking explicitly about sex is inappropriate or actually necessary
- The difference between being explicit and being irreverent
- Whether saying marital intimacy should culminate in intercourse goes beyond Church teaching
- What Humanae Vitae 11 and 12 actually say
- What the Church means by the unitive and procreative meanings of sex
- Why every marital act must retain its relationship to procreation
- What natural law means in Catholic moral theology
- Why Church documents aren’t always easy for ordinary Catholics to interpret
- The difference between doctrine and pastoral application
- Why some Catholics genuinely need someone to tell them plainly, “What does this actually mean?”
- Why social media makes pastoral accompaniment especially difficult
- Why the unitive meaning of sex deserves just as much attention as the procreative meaning
- What it means for intimacy to be rightly ordered toward life
- Why helping someone understand Church teaching isn’t necessarily the same thing as adding to it
- How couples’ lived experiences should be acknowledged without changing moral truth
One of the biggest questions we raise is this: If Humanae Vitae says that every marital act must preserve both its unitive and procreative meanings, what exactly does that require of a married couple?
Because simply repeating the words “unitive and procreative” doesn’t necessarily tell a couple what to do. Some Catholics want the theological principle.
Others are asking: Okay—but what does that actually look like?
And sometimes pastoral care means someone has to be willing to say the difficult thing clearly. This episode begins a three-part conversation examining what the Catholic Church actually teaches about marital intimacy, being “open to life,” and whether the common Catholic understanding of the marital act can really be found in the Church’s own documents.
Chapters
00:00 Welcome Back to Season 5
01:12 Why the Internet Is Arguing About Catholic Sex
01:24 The Controversy Over Jackie Angel’s Marriage Advice
02:32 Why We Use the Term PIV
03:23 Is Talking Explicitly About Catholic Sex “Cringeworthy”?
04:15 Are Catholics Adding Rules the Church Never Taught?
05:04 What Humanae Vitae Actually Says About the Marital Act
06:26 Why Church Documents Can Be Difficult to Understand
07:35 What Natural Law Actually Means
09:24 “Each and Every Marital Act” — What Does That Mean?
10:16 Doctrine vs. Pastoral Application
11:35 Why Catholic Social Media Gets This Conversation Wrong
13:24 Why Some Couples Need Clear, Prescriptive Answers
15:09 Why Catholic Speakers Need to Say the Difficult Thing
16:01 Can Sex Be Procreative Without PIV?
17:23 What Does “Ordered Toward Life” Actually Mean?
18:32 The Unitive Meaning of Catholic Sex Matters Too
20:03 Why Some Catholics Need Someone to Just Say It
21:46 Are We Misinterpreting Humanae Vitae?
22:24 What Does “Unitive” Actually Require in Marriage?
23:39 Truth, Pastoral Care, and a Couple’s Lived Experience
25:11 Where This Conversation Goes Next
Two Become Family is conversations and encouragement for your Catholic family—helping couples believe in what they are and become the family God created them to be.
BOOKS, WRITING, AND RESOURCES
📕 Order Lovemaking: How to Talk about Sex with Your Spouse
https://www.avemariapress.com/products/lovemaking
✍️ Read our writing on Catholic marriage, family life, communication, intimacy, parenting, and ordinary holiness: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com
🎤 Book Renzo and Monica to speak for your parish, diocese, marriage retreat, conference, or Catholic event: https://twobecomefamily.substack.com/p/book-renzo-and-monica-to-speak-for
🏠 Learn more about Two Become Family: https://twobecomefamily.com
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