You think you came across one way, your client experienced you another way, and the deal goes quiet. In a virtual room of small business owners, 60% rated themselves very self-aware. Research published in Harvard Business Review says only 10 to 15% of people actually are. In sales, that gap has a price.
In part two of this two-part series, Bernie Borges shares the twist he didn’t see coming. After four decades in B2B marketing, the road led him back to where his career began, selling his training services. This time, he’s coming at selling from the human side, with five self-aware selling insights you can use in your very next conversation.
Who This Is For
• Solopreneurs, consultants, coaches, and small business owners who wear the sales hat
• Service providers who feel like they’re educating, not selling, and don’t want to be seen as salespeople
• Sellers who know their process cold but still walk out of calls feeling like they struck out
• Leaders who need a yes from their team, their leadership team, their board, or a client
• Anyone who wants their influence to make people stronger, not heavier
Five Key Takeaways
1. Check what you’re carrying into the conversation. Your mood, your assumptions, and the story you’re telling yourself show up before you say a word. Take 60 seconds before your next call and ask, “What am I carrying into this conversation?” Noticing it gives you a choice.
2. Audit your talk-to-listen ratio. After your next sales conversation, estimate how much you talked versus how much you listened, and write the number down. You can’t change a pattern you don’t recognize.
3. Pause before you prescribe. When a client finishes describing a problem, say back what you heard and ask, “Did I get that right?” Then connect your solution to their problem using their own words.
4. Recognize the work behind the deal. Clients build internal buy-in and gather information before they ever meet with you. Ten seconds of specific recognition builds trust, and Columbia Business School research found buyers in a high-trust state were roughly half as price sensitive as buyers in a low-trust state.
5. When a client goes quiet, lower their risk. Forrester found that B2B buyers expect most of the rewards of a purchase to flow to their organization, while more of the risk lands on them personally. A silent prospect may be protecting themselves, so skip the “just checking in” email and ask what they’d need to feel confident taking it to their team.
Episode Resources
The Self-Aware Seller, a free 60-minute live webinar. Friday, November 13 and Friday, December 4, 2026, at 12:00 pm ET on Zoom. Registrants get the Self-Aware Seller white paper right away, and the replay if they can’t attend live. Guest speaker: Matt Fried, corporate trainer at EHS Recruiting.
Register for the webinar: https://fulfilledatworkacademy.com/selfawareseller
Blog post: https://fulfilledatworkacademy.com/what-my-encore-career-has-taught-me-about-self-awareness/
For sales leaders with teams of five or more full-time sellers: book a call to discuss a version of the webinar tailored to your team.
https://calendly.com/fulfilled-at-work/self-aware-seller-leader-exploratory-call
Part one: Episode 308, “40 Years In, I Walked Away. Then the Road Started to Wind.”
https://fulfilledatworkacademy.com/podcast/ep-308-40-years-in-i-walked-away-then-the-road-started-to-wind/
Referenced: Episode 300, on whether your influence makes people heavier or stronger.
https://fulfilledatworkacademy.com/podcast/ep-300-the-leadership-lesson-i-almost-missed/
Research referenced in this episode
• Dr. Tasha Eurich, self-awareness research published in Harvard Business Review
https://hbr.org/podcast/2018/06/how-to-become-more-self-aware
• Simply Business 2025 Solopreneur Report: https://www.simplybusiness.com/solopreneur-report/
• Forrester, B2B Sellers Must Reevaluate How They Build Trust With Buyers: https://www.forrester.com/blogs/b2b-sellers-must-reevaluate-how-they-build-trust-with-buyers
• Columbia Business School research on trust and pricing in B2B relationships
https://business.columbia.edu/press-release/cbs-press-releases/new-research-shows-strong-company-culture-builds-trust-customers
Connect With Matt Fried, Corporate Trainer, EHS Recruiting
https://www.linkedin.com/in/matthew-fried-373556138/
Connect With Bernie Borges
• Website: https://fulfilledatworkacademy.com/
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bernieborges/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bernieborges/
• TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@bernieborges
Music Attribution
• Old Bossa, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zb6VxxLCWEg
• Twin Musicom, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC636YLvNOD6r02q2ePw0XZw
• Suno, https://suno.com/
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