This week in The Labia Lounge I recorded an impromptu solo episode. In this eppy I speak on the less-talked-about realities of singlehood: the emotional labour of dating, the “single tax,” loneliness, reduced support, and the pressure to pretend that independence always feels empowering.
I also talk about what happened after taking a romantic risk in person, including the nerves, embarrassment and “shame hangover” that followed my last attempt to shoot my shot!
I also unpack the grief of watching friends couple up, get married and have children while grieving a future that once felt certain. From the financial strain of living and travelling alone to the practical and emotional support that can come with a healthy partnership, the eppy challenged the hackneyed advice to “just enjoy being single” and "it'll happen at the right time when you least expect it".
I yarn about things like:
- The cost of the “single tax,” from housing and travel to meals, gifts and household responsibilities
- Missing regular touch, cuddles, co-regulation and someone to come home to
- The strange loneliness of going to festivals, gigs and events alone, knowing no one may notice if you disappear
- Why dating can feel like exhausting, repetitive labour, especially when every new connection requires retelling your life story
- The yearning to stop dating and finally put down roots in a lasting relationship
- Why “it’ll happen when you stop looking” can be particularly unhelpful advice in the current dating climate
Trigger warning: This episode discusses grief, loneliness, fertility, gender-based violence and the emotional realities of dating.
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