They're not giving you a hard time, they're having one. That single sentence is the heart of autism support for grandparents, parents, teachers, and first responders.
Jennifer Kaufman is a school principal with over a decade serving students with autism in northern New Jersey, and the grandmother of a child with autism. She's an educator, not a clinician, and she's honest about the moment her expertise stopped being what her family needed. When her grandson was diagnosed, her daughter wasn't looking for a principal on the other end of the phone. She was looking for her mom.
We talk about why grandparents, who have raised kids of their own, can find this shift the hardest, and why following the parents' lead matters so much, because your adult child is the expert in their own child. Jennifer walks through the training she gives police officers, first responders, and campus security teams through First Response Autism, where the most useful strategies are often the simplest: more time to answer, lower lights, less noise, and removing the audience. She explains the curb cut effect, the idea that a change made for one group ends up helping everyone, and why meeting a student with curiosity over judgment changes what happens next.
When I asked her for one small thing anybody could start this week, her answer costs nothing. And near the end, she tells the story of a sentence her father said to her, and when he said it, which has carried her through the toughest times in her life.
Her book is Grandparenting on the Spectrum: A Journey from Both Sides of the Desk, and everything she does lives on her website.
Jennifer Kaufman: https://jenkaufman.com
Grandparenting on the Spectrum: https://www.grandparentingonthespectrum.com
If this conversation brought something up for you, my free Mental Health Resources Hub is here: https://thevibewithky.com/mental-health-resources-hub/
Ky is a mental health advocate speaking from lived experience. He is not a clinician, and nothing in this episode is medical advice.
Much love. Good vibes. - Ky
