Truly inspirational coach, teacher, and mentor to women of all ages and stages, Chaya Hinda Allen, teaches us how to stop abandoning ourselves and how to live authentically through self-attunement.
There is a parsha in the Torah that describes the Jewish people's encampment in the desert as being opposite of Har Sinai. Saying that it is "opposite" the mountain, instead of "next to" the mountain, is an interesting way of phrasing how the Jews were positioned. Chaya Hinda explains the profound reasoning for this wording. She explains that the Torah is an ideal of perfection, while the reality is that Jews aren't perfect; we were never meant to be perfect. Our life was meant to be a journey. In this way, we are always meant to learn and grow. The first step in growing is to know yourself.
Chaya Hinda goes on to explain the deep importance of knowing yourself. She explains that a child is helpless and is in need of attachment to survive. We are hard wired to survive, so we will attach to people even if they are abusive or neglectful. Children often learn that the only way they get any form of attachment (that often comes in the form of attention) is if they people please; if they are attuned to the needs of others and stand ready to conform themselves to those needs, instead of their own. This type of people pleasing, giving, and always trying to make others happy is often carried into adulthood. People end up subconsciously giving so much to others (thinking that they are being "good" or doing something positive), at the expense of meeting their own needs. Quite often, people don't even know what their needs are because they are simply surviving off the praise and compliments that they receive from serving other people's needs. That is self-abandonment.
Self-abandonment often leads to physical illnesses because when you suppress your own emotional needs, they come up as physical ailments in the body. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE YOUR OWN NEEDS! DON'T IGNORE YOUR OWN NEEDS!
The cure for self-abandonment is self-attunement, when you stop focusing on other people's needs and start focusing on your own needs. Chaya Hinda encourages women to take away the blame and the shame of their feelings--all feelings are ok. It's ok to feel whatever you feel--even the yuckiest feelings are ok. You have to feel in order to heal. She explains that the most important part of the healing process is when you allow yourself to sit with your feelings and really feel them--wherever they are in your body. (Sometime you will feel a heaviness in the pit of your stomach, or a tightness in your chest.)
1. Take the time to sit with yourself, COMPASSIONATELY, WITHOUT SELF-JUDGEMENT. 2. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up. It may take a while for you to fully feel the extent of your feeling. Multiple feelings might come up at the same time. That's ok. Feel whatever comes up, and DON'T PUSH THE FEELINGS AWAY.3. Cry, scream and yell if that's what you need to do to process your emotions.4.Tune into your feelings and see what message they have for you. Your feelings are your teachers. They teach you about yourself. By tuning into your feelings, you get to know authentic self; you find out who you really are, beyond the people pleasing. You learn that YOU ARE IMPORTANT. When you learn that WHO YOU ARE MATTERS, you show up in life differently. Chaya Hinda gives some great examples of some of her clients who have made beautiful transformations from being women who used to abandon themselves to now being women who are in tune with themselves and who really see themselves. It's a powerful shift!
To book a FREE coaching session with Chaya Hinda Allen, please click on this link: https://setupyourappointmentwithchayahinda.as.me/schedule/1e97738a/appointment/33038991/calendar/6801787?appointmentTypeIds[]=33038991
To be in touch with Vera Kessler, please email: atrebbetzins@gmail.com or visit: https://innerlifecoachingwithvera.com/
