In this episode, Lisa Candera breaks down the single most important skill autism moms need during meltdowns: learning how to regulate themselves first.
After years of trying to prevent every autism meltdowns, Lisa shares the shift that changed everything for her parenting and coaching: moving from control and prevention to preparation and co-regulation.
Lisa explains the concept of the “Solid Object,” a framework that helped her navigate severe dysregulation, aggression, and self-harm during her son’s teen years.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn
Why focusing only on meltdown prevention puts unrealistic pressure on autism moms
How your nervous system impacts your child during dysregulation
What it means to become the “Solid Object” during a meltdown
Why staying perfectly calm is not the goal
How co-regulation can reduce meltdown intensity and duration over time
Why autism moms need support focused on themselves, not just behavior strategies
The difference between controlling behavior and influencing behavior through grounded leadership
Lisa’s Takeaway
For years, I believed the answer was finding the perfect strategy to prevent every meltdown.
What actually changed my life was learning how to regulate myself while my son was dysregulated.
That shift helped me stop escalating situations and start parenting from a grounded place instead of fear and urgency.
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