96 | Why we try to be perfect in relationships: Analyzing Sex and the City with somatic psychology (S1:E11)

Welcome back to Somatics on Screen, a *Your Own Medicine Podcast* series where I analyze TV and film through a somatic and psychological lens.This week we’re talking about **Sex and the City, Season 1, Episode 11: “The Drought”**—an episode that, unfortunately for me, felt a little like watching someone turn parts of my own life into a 26-minute HBO comedy.Carrie accidentally farts in front of Big and proceeds to have what can only be described as a full nervous system event about being perceived as an actual human woman.And honestly? This episode is such a good depiction of fawning in romantic relationships.Because fawning doesn’t always look like overtly agreeing with someone or doing everything they want. Sometimes it’s the enormous amount of internal effort that goes into trying to remain desirable. Monitoring yourself. Editing yourself. Hiding the embarrassing parts. Trying to figure out what version of you will keep someone interested.And the more you actually like someone, the higher the stakes can feel.We talk about the somatic experience of shame and insecurity, the tension created by trying to perform a more perfect version of yourself, and what happens when a tiny moment of perceived rejection gets turned into evidence that the relationship is slipping away.I also get more personal in this episode and talk about the parallels I saw in my own relationships—because Carrie’s spiral around Big hit a little too close to home.Ultimately, “The Drought” asks a much bigger question than whether farting in front of someone kills your sex life:What happens when intimacy requires us to become increasingly visible, but being fully seen is exactly what our nervous system is afraid of?Find me on Instagram & Tiktok:@kali.somatics📖 Tired of Being Good: A Nervous System Map for Reinhabiting Your Body After a Lifetime of Fawninghttps://www.amazon.com/dp/B0H53CHKJL?lv=shuf&bestFormat=true&social_share=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_TS5ZHVAY9B4F28BTWBPG&channelId=704&ref_=cm_sw_r_ffobk_cso_cp_apin_dp_TS5ZHVAY9B4F28BTWBPG&plpRedirect=mhFallback❤️‍🔥 **Sexual Fawning Course**My on-demand course exploring fawning, desire, embodied consent, arousal, sexual boundaries, and what it looks like to stay connected to yourself inside of intimacy.https://v2.stan.store/kalisomatics/p/sexual-fawning-courseSubscribe for more **Somatics on Screen** and *Your Own Medicine Podcast*