This week it’s just Kurt Money and Jonny Parlay holding it down and somehow we covered Epstein files, Chicago Bears geography, and a Jets Super Bowl simulation from DraftKings.
It’s peak offseason brain.
With nothing but 193 days until Week 1 and zero real football news, we spiral into:
🔊 This episode includes:
– NFL teams ranked by “Epstein file mentions” (yes, really)
– The Houston Texans being suspiciously clean
– Why the Washington Commanders are exactly where you think they are
– The Chicago Bears possibly moving to Indiana (Indiana Bears??)
– Why New Jersey Jets would officially end friendships
– States ranked by total championships (California is cheating)
– DraftKings simulating the Jets winning Super Bowl 61
– Most passing yards after age 40 (Brady is ridiculous)
– Free agent chaos: Kirk Cousins, Aaron Rodgers, Malik Willis
– Would the Jets actually sign Cousins?
– Every team’s last #1 overall pick
– The Eagles haven’t had the #1 pick since 1949
– Falcons stadium food prices vs New York robbery
– Travis Kelce wedding speculation
– 348 days until the next Super Bowl and already spiraling
💥 Offseason Themes:
– Jets delusion season
– Bears relocation drama
– Brady still ruining stat sheets
– Are we switching to DraftKings?
– Why being an adult is weird
– Why middle school is a lame name
This is what happens when there’s no football and too much time to think.
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🎬 Timestamps:
00:00 The Warmup Preview
00:47 Kids Getting Dumber Debate
01:47 Starter Jackets and Bullying
02:21 Midlife Crisis Wisdom
03:22 Middle School Naming Wars
04:27 Writing Spelling and School
06:11 Back to School Idea
06:58 NFL Epstein Files Ranking
09:16 Countdown to Draft Season
09:56 Roman Numerals Confusion
10:42 Bears Moving to Indiana
13:39 Mohamed Sanu Wild Stat
15:53 States With Most Titles
19:14 NYC Split Fanbases
19:50 DraftKings Simulation Shock
21:34 Post-40 Passing Yard Kings
24:01 Falcons Tag And Cousins Cut
24:52 Atlanta Stadium Value Menu
27:13 Germany Game And Time Check
27:32 Notable NFL Free Agents
30:47 Kelce Swift Wedding Speculation
32:35 Last Number One Picks Trivia
35:53 Jets QB Plan And Wrap Up
New episodes dropping every Friday!
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