Dating Without The Chase #147

I sit down with relationship therapist Thomas Westenholtz to unpack why anxious daters so often get pulled into avoidant relationships that feel intoxicating at first and miserable later. We map the nervous system patterns behind chasing, criticism, and rumination, then lay out what secure love actually looks like in real dating behavior. 

• how the anxious-avoidant cycle forms and why it repeats old wounds 
• why criticism shows up as a desperate attempt to get through 
• using an internal “compass” across thoughts, emotions, and body signals 
• recognising persistent anxiety as a signal of inconsistency and confusion 
• early dating signs of secure attachment including clarity and follow-through 
• why calm can feel boring when you are used to chaos 
• trusting actions over words and avoiding fantasy-driven attachment 

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