The Danger of an Unreleased Vow
Parashat Matot opens with one of the
Torah’s most important laws:
“Lo yachel devaro”—a person should not profane his word. When we make a neder (vow) or shevuah (oath), our words become sacred, and the Torah teaches us to honor them. At the same time, the Torah also teaches that there are legitimate ways to dissolve a vow through hatarat nedarim, because the Torah does not want a person trapped forever by words spoken in haste.
The Gemara tells us that one of the greatest tragedies in Tanach occurred because two great men allowed honor to stand in the way of halachah.
After his victory over Ammon, Yiftach made a rash vow. When he realized the terrible consequences of his words, there was a solution. He could have gone to Pinchas, the Kohen Gadol, to seek release from the vow.
But Yiftach said, “I am the judge. Why should I go to him?”
Pinchas said, “I am the Kohen Gadol. Why should I go to him?”
Neither was willing to humble himself.
The Midrash says that because each waited for the other, an innocent life was lost. ( We believe she lived alone on a mountain top all of her days). The tragedy was not caused by the vow alone. It was caused by pride.
Our Sages teach that Pinchas was
punished for failing to act. The Divine Presence departed from him, and
according to the Midrash, he lost the the souls of Nadavand Avihu,
The halachic lesson is profound. Judaism certainly teaches us to be careful with our words. Better not to make a
vow than to struggle to keep it. But it also teaches that when a mistake has
been made, we must be humble enough to seek help. There is no shame in asking a
rabbi for hatarat nedarim,
no embarrassment in admitting we spoke too quickly, and no honor in allowing
ego to prevent us from correcting an error.
Sometimes the greatest violation of a
vow is not the words we spoke—it is refusing to take the steps the Torah itself
provides to repair them.
May we merit to use our speech with
wisdom, keep our promises faithfully, and possess the humility to correct our
mistakes before pride turns them into tragedy.
