Biggest Mediation Mistakes to Avoid:
After decades on the bench, retired Judge Michele Lowrance has seen firsthand what truly destroys families during divorce—and it isn't always what you think.
Don't miss out on the $50 Divorce Crash Course
In this powerful episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill sit down with the Honorable Michele Lowrance, retired domestic relations judge, nationally recognized mediator, author of The Good Karma Divorce, and one of the leading voices in family law and divorce mediation. Together, they explore why mediation is often a better path than litigation, what happens to families when conflict escalates into court battles, and how parents can protect their children while navigating one of life's most painful transitions.
Judge Lowrance shares the science behind emotional decision-making, the impact of divorce conflict on children, why the right mediator can make or break your case, and how even high-conflict couples can find a path toward resolution.
If you're preparing for mediation, considering litigation, or simply trying to make better decisions during your divorce, this episode is a must-listen.
In This Episode, We Discuss:
- Why mediation is often a better alternative to courtroom litigation
- What happens to children when parents remain locked in conflict
- The emotional and neurological impact of divorce
- How fear, anger, and grief affect decision-making
- Why good people struggle during mediation
- The critical role of the mediator
- How to choose the right mediator for your divorce
- What to expect from the first mediation session
- Why high-conflict divorces can still benefit from mediation
- How to move from emotional reactions to thoughtful decisions
- The concept behind The Good Karma Divorce
Key Takeaways
✔️ Divorce decisions made from anger often create long-term damage
✔️ Mediation allows families to move toward acceptance rather than remaining stuck in conflict
✔️ The right mediator should challenge, guide, and creatively problem-solve—not simply carry offers back and forth
✔️ Children are deeply affected by ongoing parental conflict
✔️ Emotional regulation is one of the most important skills during divorce
✔️ The first mediation offers are often difficult—but that doesn't mean mediation isn't working
✔️ You won't always feel the same way about your ex that you do today
✔️ Keeping your focus on the future can help you make better decisions now
Three Action Steps from Michele Lowrance1. Don't Impose Your Agenda
Before discussing a difficult topic with your co-parent, ask whether it's a good time for the conversation. Respect timing and create rules of engagement that reduce conflict.
2. Remember You Won't Always Feel This Way
The emotions you're experiencing right now are real—but they won't last forever. Make decisions based on your future, not just your current pain.
3. Keep Your Eye on the Target
Focus on healing, protecting your children, and moving forward. Don't try to navigate divorce alone—get the support you need.
About Michele Lowrance
Michele Lowrance is a retired Cook County Domestic Relations Judge, nationally recognized divorce mediator, author, and family law thought leader. She practiced family law for more than two decades before serving nearly twenty years on the bench and has dedicated her career to helping families resolve conflict with less trauma and more humanity.
Her book, The Good Karma Divorce, explores how individuals can emerge from divorce with dignity, healing, and purpose.
Divorce Crash Course
Thinking about divorce? Currently going through one?
Our Divorce Crash Course walks you through the biggest mistakes people make during divorce, how to save money on attorney fees, what to expect during the process, and how to protect yourself legally and financially.
Typically priced at $150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters, Our Family Wizard and Soberlink.
👉 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Resources
📘 The Good Karma Divorce by Michele Lowrance
👉 Our Family Wizard:
https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
👉 Soberlink:
https://www.soberlink.com
Connect With Us
Website:
https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com
Facebook Community:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/hownottosuckatdivorce
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce
Keywords: divorce mediation, Michele Lowrance, family law mediation, high conflict divorce, divorce and children, child-centered divorce, mediation vs litigation, divorce attorney advice, co-parenting, divorce support, family court, divorce podcast, divorce recovery, mediation tips, divorce strategy
#DivorceMediation #MicheleLowrance #FamilyLaw #CoParenting #DivorcePodcast #DivorceSupport #HowNotToSuckAtDivorce #ChildCenteredDivorce #DivorceAdvice #FamilyCourt
Mentioned in this episode:
Smarter Way to Sell Your Jewelry
After my divorce was finalized, I sold my old engagement ring to a jeweler — and honestly, I was stunned by how little I got for it compared to what it originally cost.
If I could do it all over again — which is kind of the theme of this podcast — I would have sold it through Worthy.
Worthy is a modern, smarter way to sell your jewelry online. Their process is incredibly easy: they cover shipping and insurance, professionally clean and photograph your jewelry, and have it graded by experts to help maximize its value.
What makes Worthy different is that they create a competitive auction environment where buyers bid against each other for your piece — meaning they are motivated to help you get the highest price possible.
It’s completely risk-free and honestly something I wish I had known about sooner.
Get started today by heading to worthy.com/divorcepod and lock in an extra $100 when your jewelry sells for more than $1,500.
