In episode 268, Coffey talks with Jeff Lay about what it means to build a conflict-capable organization, why artificial harmony is more dangerous than open disagreement, and how leaders can develop the skills and culture needed to handle difficult conversations before they become expensive problems.
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They discuss the concept of a conflict-capable organization as an alternative to the unrealistic goal of conflict elimination; the conflict incubator — how childhood environments and previous workplaces shape an individual's default conflict behaviors; artificial harmony versus genuine trust, and why silence in a meeting rarely signals agreement; the financial cost of unresolved conflict, including disengagement losses that don't show up on a P&L but function like money thrown in a fire; becoming fluent in the language of small things — addressing friction early before emotions escalate into "you always" and "you never" conversations; how a leader's response to the first person who raises conflict determines whether anyone ever raises it again; the challenge of coaching up when the conflict source is the leader themselves, and how HR can build the relational runway to do it; social media, generational change, remote work, and AI as compounding forces making productive conflict harder to navigate; emotional intelligence, humility, and curiosity as foundational leadership skills for conflict resolution; and the CURVE framework — cared for, understood, respected, valued, and empowered — as a diagnostic for organizational health.
For HR teams who discuss this podcast in their team meetings, we've created a discussion starter PDF to help guide your conversation. Download it here https://goodmorninghr.com/EP268
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About our Guest:
Jeff Lay is the Founder of The People Curve, a leadership and conflict resolution consulting practice focused on helping leaders and organizations navigate difficult conversations, strengthen workplace relationships, and build healthier cultures.
With more than 25 years of leadership experience spanning nonprofit, ministry, and organizational leadership, Jeff has coached leaders through employee relations challenges, team conflict, organizational change, and workplace investigations.
Jeff believes conflict is not something to avoid but a skill to develop. His work centers on helping organizations become conflict-capable—creating cultures where difficult conversations can be addressed with clarity, respect, and accountability.
Jeff is a SHRM-SCP and frequent speaker for leadership teams, HR professionals, churches, and nonprofit organizations. He lives in East Texas with his wife and family and enjoys camping, reading, and cheering on the Dallas Cowboys Texas A&M football.
Jeff Lay can be reached at:
Website: | www.thepeoplecurve.com
LinkedIn: | https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeff-lay-shrm-scp-09987a10
About Mike Coffey:
Mike Coffey is an entrepreneur, licensed private investigator, business strategist, HR consultant, and registered yoga teacher.
In 1999, he founded Imperative, a background investigations and due diligence firm helping risk-averse clients make well-informed decisions about the people they involve in their business.
Imperative delivers in-depth employment background investigations, know-your-customer and anti-money laundering compliance, and due diligence investigations to more than 300 risk-averse corporate clients across the US, and, through its PFC Caregiver & Household Screening brand, many more private estates, family offices, and personal service agencies.
Imperative has been named a Best Places to Work, the Texas Association of Business’ small business of the year, and is accredited by the Professional Background Screening Association.
Mike shares his insight from 25+ years of HR-entrepreneurship on the Good Morning, HR podcast, where each week he talks to business leaders about bringing people together to create value for customers, shareholders, and community.
Mike has been recognized as an Entrepreneur of Excellence by FW, Inc. and has twice been recognized as the North Texas HR Professional of the Year.
Mike serves as a board member of a number of organizations, including the Texas State Council, where he serves Texas’ 31 SHRM chapters as State Director-Elect; Workforce Solutions for Tarrant County; the Texas Association of Business; and the Fort Worth Chamber of Commerce, where he is chair of the Talent Committee.
Mike is a certified Senior Professional in Human Resources (SPHR) through the HR Certification Institute and a SHRM Senior Certified Professional (SHRM-SCP). He is also a Yoga Alliance registered yoga teacher (RYT-200) and teaches multiple times each week.
Mike and his very patient wife of 29 years are empty nesters in Fort Worth.
Learning Objectives:
- Distinguish between artificial harmony and genuine organizational trust, and identify the leadership behaviors that create each.
- Apply the "language of small things" approach to surface and address interpersonal friction before it escalates into formal conflict requiring HR or legal intervention.
- Assess the financial and cultural cost of unresolved workplace conflict and use that framing to make the business case for investing in manager training and conflict-capable culture.
